Saturday, August 1, 2009

Rant and raves

When I asked my coordinator what the deal was - why I didn't know about BCP for this cycle and how she has consistently given me the impression that nothing was happening till September her reply was ...

It can synch the cycle several ways. Typically if we use birth control pills we would want to start you on cycle day 3-5. I may have you check blood work around ovulation to start L.upron instead though. I will look at everything and let you know early next week.

Now in her defense my cycle is usually 6 weeks long and this one was 4 due to the d/c. But I feel like she has mismanaged this whole thing. The good news is I am already on the same cycle as my donor give or take a day. But still, who needs the extra stress!

What gets me is the amount of money we are paying vs the amount of customer care we get. It seems like the DE program still thinks of itself as part of some insurance based health care system. But IVF health care isn't. It's patient payer and something that we have to opt for, we have to pay for because there is NO insurance for this stuff. So why are we any different from someone buying a home or car or stocks? We pay as just as much. I will have spend over 50K this year. That is nothing in comparison to some. But that is how much my brothers house cost, a university costs, a car costs and so on.

Clearly I am angry at C.ornell. I now refuse to accept that the system works the way it does. I refuse to accept that people I have paid a great deal of money to do not return my calls or think that they have the right to meter my health care information. I refuse to accept that I have to play nice to get by in the system.

So, I am going to write an email to the coordinator and the doctor detailing my expectations based on the information I have from them. I will invite them to add or correct anything. I will make it clear that as a customer (not patient) I have rights that I intend to enforce if necessary in order to maximize my chances of having an optimal experience.

I work hard to be a gentle soul but I will not let a system that relies on my complicity and compliance to screw with my possibility of becoming a mum.

Fuck 'em. No more Mrs Nice Infertile.


  1. AMEN! And herein lies the layer of bullshit underneath the crap we already deal with. Good for you!!!!!

  2. GO GET 'EM! I have always made sure to talk with my doctors as a customer as well as a patient. I even call them on unnecessary expenses. (Non-IVF docs) say, "well this is covered by your insurance." To which my reply has been, "how is that relevant to the need? It has a cost no matter what." I mean, WTF? I am very lucky my RE clinic is both good in their stats and with their bedside manner or I'd be a raving madwoman. Now I'm all riled up and want to punch somebody.

    But aside from my craziness, I am happy that you are ready to cycle with your donor. Woot!

  3. Good for you for not sitting back and taking this! I had similar frustrating experiences throughout my entire cycle - lack of communication, lack of follow up - I missed out on cycling with my donor one month because the stupid nurse couldn't seem to figure out how to make a phone call. It is extremely frustrating, especially since we are paying so much money out of our own pockets. I hope your e-mail helps to improve your situation. Mine improved 100-fold when the nurse/donor coordinator who was driving me crazy finally left and was replaced by someone who actually knows what she is doing. Things have been so much better since then. I hope you have a similar experience and things improve.

  4. Wow, she's fired up now! Good. I like it. You've got to take the clinic (bull) by the horns. You're absolutely right that for what you are paying them, you should be receiving excellent customer service and information. Regularly. Perhaps in your email you could say that you have found that relying on them to contact you at necessary junctures has proved itself fallable. That you feel disappointed with the service and communication you've received from them and that you fear your cycle may be at risk. As a result, you feel that the only way your case will be properly handled is if you call for information and so they can expect you call them every day for an update. And then, EB, I'd call them EVERY STINKING DAY and tell them you'll hold on the line while they get your chart (and the donor's and the other recipient's) to give you an update.

    Sorry, I got carried away. You write what you need to and I hope they are responsive.

  5. Good for you.

    I would definitely challenge them on this. Communication is so key in a DE cycle, and with all the money we are paying, they should be responsive to each and every item along the way.

    Don't stop until you are getting the level of service you demand.

  6. SOrry you're having a bad experience. It's such a bitch to pay such HUGE amounts of money and get treated like that. I L.O.V.E. my IVF clinic - they treat us so well. You'd think Cornell would know how to treat their customers, even when they're patients.