THANK YOU for all your comments - I was overwhelmed!
We have our second psych eval at 4.30 today and then I need to get a bunch of tests done (Melissa might have mentioned them before but she's crap) such as thyroid function and prolactin. And they would be ...?
I am still giddy with the excitement. I worked out for 2 hours this morning to try and burn up some of my energy! I managed to do 40 reps on the chin up machine which was a first. Killed me but I did it. I love working out. It's like being a big kid in a cool playground! And my gym is full of pregnant women. I looked at their bellies and instead of my heart missing something I felt full up with hope.
I decided that to really understand that this is a first time. Each experience with IUI's and IVF have been different and my expectations or assumptions did me no good. I don't want to operate from a position of fear (here comes the wagging again).
There is a great story my mum told me that is my guiding principle in this cycle:
Buddha and his apprentice were going on a long journey so the apprentice could learn 'the way'. His apprentice was eager to be off but instead of Buddha walking through the large wooden doors of the monastery and onto the first road of many he asked the apprentice to make him a cup of tea.
Quickly the apprentice put the water and the pot and the tea on a tray and took it to his master. Buddha studied the cup, the tray and the tea before selecting which leaves he would like to taste. The apprentice quickly threw the cup of tea together and handed it to his master.
Buddha sat, quietly, studying the tea.
After a long while the apprentice burst out "oh master, why do you study this tea? I have made you hundreds of cups of tea before!"
"Yes, you have " Buddha responded, "but not THIS cup of tea"