I am still excited about the DE cycle but my excitement has been put on the low light. Not because of one thing or another, undoubtedly there is pain out there, but because I have been taught something these past few days.
The pain of my fellow bloggers out there has put my journey into perspective. The IVF and IUI's have become my focus. It feels like I have been swept away with the medical side of things, the increased possibilities and the drugs etc
My focus is not getting pregnant but to become a mum. I want to be a mum. Whatever that might mean, in whatever form.
I do have a family - my little cats and my DH. Have I let them slip into the background. Yes. That is how my little one got so sick - I didn't take care of her, didn't notice she stopped eating or that she was too quiet. I was so focused on losing weight, getting pregnant, drugs, injections, money blah blah... that I didn't do my best for these furry purries that have given me unconditional love for many years now.
So, out of all the heartbreaking darkness this week, this is my light. It has taught me to care for what I have as well as hope for what I will have, soon. One way or another.