Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Oh man...

So for most of the summer and spring things have been really quiet at work. Well now the floodgates of hell have opened. I am swamped! Just in time for my cycle to start. In the olden times of pre IVF I would relish the adrenalin rush. I would be so happy to be working past midnight and back in again at 6am.
Yeah, I was a total loser.

Now I recent every frikkin moment of it. I want it all to go away and leave me to wonder what is going to happen this time.

So I need another way to 'be'. I am still wagging my jolly little tail - sort of. And I have a couple of days till AF is supposed to arrive and I can get sweet release from the EL. I am eating everything that isn't nailed down so I shall be gaining some weight this week but I have already given myself a pass.

I need to find the calm rhythm of the fast paced life I work in. I need to find the flow. Confidence should help. I am, deep down, totally under confident about,well, everything. So I panic and start cranking the adrenalin whenever I get a call from a client. Deep breath. All is calm and cool. Whatever it is I can do it or tell 'em I can't!
My boss is away for 3 weeks which really helps.

By my calculations I should start my AF pretty soon. My last CD1 was August 24th. In fact, lutial day 14 is tomorrow I think. Ohhh, I could be close, really close to not feeling like an alien. And to being on cd1 of my first DE cycle. Scratch that. CD1 of my ONLY DE cycle.

Keep your good thoughts coming and post a comment. I could do with all the friends in the world right about now ;-)


  1. Hey girlfriend! You can manage this and you will manage this. The work is going to come second in your life for this next little while because something much more important is happening and requires your energy, yes? Yes! And you have the right idea - lots of prioritizing and breathing is in order! (My ND had me put a sticky note on my computer reminding me to breathe lots during my workday and it has really helped! Try it!) And as far as confidence goes, you may not always feel it, but in the brief time I've known you, it's clear to me that you are one smart, strong, compassionate and funny lady who can do anything she sets her mind to. Cat life-saving? Not a problem! Misogynist-smacking? Always! Weight-losing? Ya been there, done that! And now baby-making? You've definitely got what it takes to set aside work stress to give this very important event all your energy. Sending you big hugs!!! XOXO

  2. You got it! I'm sending all kinds of good vibes and good thoughts your way! C'mon, AF! Send EL straight back to hell, get on with the cycle and get those babies into you!

    Now in the mean time, yay for giving yourself a pass to eat a few things that make you happy. But really, let go of some of that self doubt because YOU are the woman who saved the firm BILLIONS of dollars, closed deals and worked magic. You can do it! Whatever they throw at you, you will wow them! You're just in a cloud of EL right now. As a final comment, I have to say, you are really killer amazing if you can work till midnight and start back up at 6 am! Holy crap, I'm a pile of goo every night by 8 pm! Go get 'em, tiger!

  3. Sending good thoughts and love from out west. Can say any of it better than the previous two, I think they covered it all. You're awsome!