We have a good income. Nothing amazing but good enough. Good enough if we either didn't have kids or they could just sit at home all day.
Let me explain
We go to a music class each week. It's a 10 week class and costs $360 for one child and $1 for the other. Well, that's what it costs when the kids were under 6 months. Now the next class will cost us $610 (we get a sibling discount for returning to the class!!).
HOW MUCH????? $600+ for a 45 min class??????? WTF????????
So I am going to do it. I am starting a play group with my friend. That's 4 kids. I shall invite a twin mommie from the music class, that's 6 kids. I shall find a space, we can get the 'stuff' from co.sco or sam.s c.lub and bobs your bloody cheaper uncle. Feck me!! I am boiling mad.
Next year I know of 5 more kids that will need somewhere to go and the mums have already agreed to join our merry band.
I know, this way lies madness but I refuse, absolutely bloody well refuse to pay thousands of dollars for my kids to bang a frikkin drum or finger paint.
Teeth. My poor kids have new teeth coming through and constipation (sorry kids). They are starting to eat solids. 'P' foods. We had three days of peas. Now its pears. Not sure why they are getting constipated on the P foods since they are supposed to have the opposite effect.
It all means that last night the spent the entire night groaning and moaning and I couldn't do a thing about it. Mimi is so tired now she is just laying in her crib with her nanny doll (a stuffed toy goat/dog head with just fabric for a body) and she is trying to behead the poor thing. Hey, share the pain, I get it.
It all means I am knackered and I have a major work issue and oh!! all I want is to go to my bed. Preferably with a little sleepy cuddle monster or two.
Ah, the dulcet tones on my daughter are calling ... glass shattering groaning. She sounds like she's possessed. Possessed by baby teeth!
Thank You. Your advice was heart felt and honest. I took a little of this and that and got my plan together.
1. let them cry or 10 mins
2. go in, calm without words, retreat
3. go back in 15 mins later.
4. repeat in extended intervals.
I hear my little one gabbling to each other. Now I know what they are saying:
" I'll scream tonight, you tomorrow. We'll hand off each night for about two weeks. After that just watch her come running in even when we don't cry! It's called mom training."
Yep. Neither one awoke but I ran in twice to phantom crying!!! What do you bet that tonight is a cry fest.
Looks like the sleep training is going to have to resume. They are doing OK but each of them wakes in the night and Mimi won't settle till she gets fed again, usually at midnight.
So, what the f**k do I do now?
When I read other blogs and they have sleeping through the night babies I wonder why I am so weak, that I don't go the whole hog and do the night screaming thing. My neighbour told me she let her kid cry for 2 hours one night, then 30 mins the next and voila! sleeping through the night. I let my guys cry from 10 - 20 mins then in I go. They go back to sleep if the binky is replaced, or they repositioned.
Oh yeah, we have pea eating people in our house. Both still make 'yuuuuuk' faces but they open their mouth and ask for more in that wonderful baby way. Oh I love being with my kids. I swear they are so amazingly fun to be with. Their 'Aunty' came around today (she brought homemade chocolate cake - man, what an amazing Auntie) we played, sang, danced and then we went for a walk to the park. They were fast asleep in no time! I got to bathe both of them and have a rock/cuddle before bed.
The only cloud on my revoltingly wonderful day is the start of toothache. I know I have it coming. When I got pregnant I needed two re-root canals and I have one good tooth that I chipped on popcorn!!! Do I care? NOPE. I have really REALLY good pain killers left over from my C-section :-)
Its 8.45 pm on a Sunday and I don't have to go to work tomorrow. I get to play with Pip and Mimi again. YIPPEE
Well, Pip has gone from the 3% to the 50% and Mimi went from the 50% to the 75%. We just went shopping for 'P' foods. Peas, Peaches, Pumpkin etc. So today was the first real food day. Well at least it was a sip of peas. Pip's face was a picture!!
We live about 1/2 mile from a baby food shop so for exercise I pushed both babies (30 pounds) and the stroller (plus tons of baby food on the way home) super fast all the way there all the way back. It was cold outside (started snowing) but I must have looked roasting hot (my face gets really red with exercise).
Poor Pip is teething. Mimi seems to handle it by ripping into soft toys. I think Pip feels the pain more. I put baby ora.gel on his gums and he screamed louder??? Either way there is lots of groaning and crying. Poor things.
As they get more active I am more and more aware of my body. Before I had the kids I was strong and agile. Now, my bones hurt. My pelvis seems permanently twisted and muscles twang all day. Anyone else know what I'm talking about??
We discovered that Mimi has two teeth today - two! Explains all the not sleeping crap, thats for sure. Teeth. My little girl has teeth. Damn me that is amazing. She is such a mellow kid considering that two bottom teeth pushed through her gum.
I flew to California and back in 24 hours all so I wouldn't be away from my kids for more than one night. I got home at 1am and Mimi was AWAKE. I did the whole sleep training thing (secretly delighted that I got to watch her giggling and smiling away). I stumble to bed about 1.45am. Then at 2.20 she screams. She's hungry and wet. We haven't night fed in ages ... months.
I feed her a little bit.
Then at 3 Pip wakes up soaking wet.
At 4.40 they were both awake.
I gave up trying to sleep.
DH got up at 5.50 to help out. I went to bed and slept until 12. Whoops. I had a 9 am meeting!
I am hoping tonight they both sleep all night long.
I've tried to compose something that reflects how I feel about spending the past 6 months as the mother to my two kids. Nothing comes close. There are no words that can describe what has happened to my emotional self over the past six months.
All I can say is that rather than life closing down I am full of the possibilities. These kids have opened up some magic door and now all I have to do is step into through, into all of it.
I did some research. There is something called a co-op nursery. Parents opt in to teach the classes and the classes are rotated every month or so. All the costs are shared amongst he parents.
I like this idea. However I work full time. So I spoke with most of the parents involved and everyone is willing to
1. sign a no sue agreement
2. keep it labelled as playgroup (no insurance or teachers necessary)
3. pay for a 'teacher' - a paid post grad student that can use the group as study time (therefore no official payment/coverage necessary)
4. find on place to hold the play group (either in an apartment building or local church-type place).
This is looking promising.
And my dear readers ... I lost 10 pounds. Whooplaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
The sinus infection continues. I started the antibiotics today because I am just totally run down and have no chance of fighting this thing off. Since starting them I am not getting as many dizzy episodes so that's cool.
The lack of sleep is extreme at the moment. Pip is still really snotty and can't breath too well at night. So he is up and about most of the night. I cuddle him in the rocking chair till he can breathe again then try and grab an hours sleep before the next round. Added to the fact that they are waking up at 5am and I am operating on no sleep.
This situation is ripe for me to have a melt down which I did in no short order last night. It was over money (it is always over money) and I came home and sobbed. DH has reacted by emotionally disappearing (oh and he was doing so well). I can see how marriages fall apart under this kind of pressure.
I did have an idea tho. I have four friends with twins or who are going to have twins. I have three more with singletons. Pre schools cost form $12 to $40K in NYC. I think we should start a home school preschool. I know where to find very well qualified pre school teachers. We could split the pay and hold the school in one of the apartments. As long as we all sign liability waivers it might be the perfect solution.
Me, not DH. I have been thinking about the plastic surgery. I can't afford it even if by some magic I could save the money or get a bonus or win the lottery. We have 2 kids! Pre-school is so expensive in NYC that we have to start saving now.
Ah well. I enjoyed the idea, for sure.
One good thing coming out of all this is that the exercise bug just bit me in the arse. I am going back x3 times a week come what may. It may have to wait till I get rid of this bug that we are all passing around here. DH then Pip now me. YUCK. I will do the 30, 60, 90 training - run for 30 sec, walk 60, run 90 so on for 30 mins. Then Pilate's and weights. Kinda psyched.
In preperation I have been ' kiddersizing': exercising using the weight of babies as my dumbbells. I lunged to the changing table, danced and bopped for 15 mins per child and do the dreaded plank when they are on the floor. It is so much fun!
DH is doing really well on project GTFU (not that he knows he is on it!!). Washing bottles, playing with kids, getting up early so I can get a few hours uninterrupted sleep (coz they will not let me get a full nights sleep). It is really hot seeing my dh being 'the dad'. How weird is that!! We may even restore night time activities. I have been backwards about that sort of thing since the babies were born. I am a major fattie which is not helping. I am also terrified about getting pregnant again. Take a moment to think about how illogical that is!
I saw the plastic surgeon today. Oh I sooooo want to do the surgery however, after speaking with DH I am considering two things. One - we, as a couple, don't tend to do things we can't afford and so why start now. Second, it is only 6 months (nearly) since I had major surgery. How about waiting for another 6 months to get back into better shape and therefore have less risk.
He makes good points. Damn him.
So, this is my plan ... I think. Book the surgery for July. Dedicate my time and energies to getting back into good health before then and also saving up 50% of the costs. The rest I can put on my card and pay back over time without too much hassle. My twin belly overhang should be quaking in its boots. Here's the totally exciting thing. For the first time in my adult life, I would have a flat stomach. Holy shyte and onions. I am so doing this!!!!
It's the year of the wood rabbit which a bit crap really. Lots of unsettled issues and conflicts. AS OPPOSED TO????
Funnily enough this year has started off with DH and I discussing moving, getting new jobs and creating new experiences that we can do together (get your mind out of the gutter!). We want to move coz our maintenance is sky high. It has been raised three or four times in as many years. My job should be the perfect job for a new mum with lots of flexibility but I am not loving it and have started having conversation around town. DH and I are writing an ad for a sea school in Florida together. This gives me a chance to flex my copy writing skills and he is the art dude. That having been said, we haven't started the project and it is due in three weeks !!
All of this flux made me cry this morning. I was up with the kids. Pip was laughing at the TV, Mimi was snuggling and I just burst into tears. It was 5am which may have contributed to the emotional outburst. Also first day of Aunt Flo. However, I'm feeling a tad overwhelmed by it all. All I want to do is sleep. For more than 2-3 hours at a time. You hear that cats, kids, snotty husband and tap dancing elephants upstairs. LET ME SLEEP DAMN YOU!!