One Day More

We go to the UK tomorrow for 10 days. I haven't been 'home' for that long in over ten years. Clearly I am having tons of  reactions to this trip.

After I gave birth my parents told me they couldn't come over to see the little ones as planned because my mum had been diagnosed with a heart condition. My mum was clearly devastated and I promised  to bring them over when they got past 6 months old for a long stay.
I had envisioned a month over summer where we would rent a lovely holiday cottage with access to a pool. Long evenings in the garden with that wonderful summer feeling that only the UK can give me.

Well, it was way too frikkin expensive.

So, instead, we are going to a hotel with a pool and gym (yipeeeee).  The kids have bathing suits and swimming trunks - totally cute -  and my folks have begged borrowed or bought anything that moved and had baby association.

I'm so excited to see my folks (its been well over a year) and my nephew who is telling anyone that will listen that he is busy the next week being 'the big cousin'.
I am terrified of all the things that can go wrong.
I am eager to get out of NY for a little bit and to my beloved Yorkshire (the countryside is unbelievable). I jumping up and down with excitement about swimming and hiking with the kids.
I am totally PSYCHED that I will be out of work for a while
I'm all a flutter with anticipation of  real tea, my mums cooking, seeing my folks with their grandkids and of course my role being different - finally - in the dynamic of family (no longer the single daughter workaholic) and most of all just being able to hang out with my nutty  family.

I'm also worried about being so excited about a visit home since lets face it, families are hard.

So, my dear friends. As long as the doctor gives the kids the all clear to fly (yes, I am having them checked out!) wish my bon voyage and bon chance!

I'd love to hear how you handled the evolving role in your family. 

Our weekend of firsts ...

Big Bath - splash splash squeal poop
Swing - whoosh whoosh hick blech
Teeth - whaa whaa whaa mommyyy!!!!
Cat cuddle - purr purr, grin grin
All nighter - snore snore snore snore

the cost of twins

We have a good income. Nothing amazing but good enough. Good enough if we either didn't have kids or they could just sit at home all day.
Let me explain
We go to a music class each week. It's a 10 week class and costs $360 for one child and $1 for the other. Well, that's what it costs when the kids were under 6 months. Now the next class will cost us $610 (we get a sibling discount for returning to the class!!).

HOW MUCH????? $600+ for a 45 min class??????? WTF????????

So I am going to do it. I am starting a play group with my friend. That's 4 kids. I shall invite a twin mommie from the music class,  that's 6 kids. I shall find a space, we can get the 'stuff' from co.sco or sam.s c.lub  and bobs your bloody cheaper uncle. Feck me!! I am boiling mad.
Next year I know of 5 more kids that will need somewhere to go and the mums have already agreed to join our merry band.

I know, this way lies madness but I refuse, absolutely bloody well refuse to pay thousands of dollars for my kids to bang a frikkin drum or finger paint.  

Easy way out

I'm thinking, considering, perhapping about something. It's something that I would never in a million years have contemplated a few years ago.

I am thinking about having plastic surgery.

After the c-section, my abdomen is a bit f*cked up. Since the scar opened so much and had to heal from the inside out it has caused an even worse protrusion than just being a fat ass. I have a really odd shaped belly. Unless I wear long tops, the bulging is visible and it is quite ugly. The doctor told me that it would never go back to normal but that I could reduce the effect by losing lots of weight.

Now, here's the thing. I'm considering surgery because I heard about this new procedure that is not a tummy tuck (where muscles get cut etc) which always seemed so extreme to me. Its like super aggressive liposuction. The effects are amazing and some (very few) of the costs are covered by my insurance. Most of the costs are not.

Ready for this. It will cost about $10K out of pocket. Do I have that money? No. Would I have to put it on a credit card? yes. Do I think its worth it?  outside voice "hell no, I shall exercise and eat right ..." inside voice "YES" Fast result and I would feel confident in my body again.

But then I think ... who am I?? What am I thinking? Plastic Surgery? $10K??

Dilemma.

Firsts

I did get some sleep,  I slept in till 9.30am (OK,  I went to bed at 6am but that is 3.30 hours uninterrupted)! Pip is sleeping through the night and Mimi is still rolling. ANY ideas most welcome. She rolls over and freaks out. If I pop in her passie and roll her onto her front then she returns to sleep almost at once. However she's rolling over about 5 times a night.

OK, onto .... Our Firsts.
Class: We went to our very first music class and it was amazing. I loved it. We played and danced and made music together. Pip was smiling and totally into it until near the end when he fell asleep in my arms. Mimi wanted to be with the big kids so much. She gazed longingly over to the big girls messing about in the corner. As usual they were both very smiley and sweet. I swear Pip flirted with the teacher!!

Ergo success. Until now, ergo has been a no-no with my kids. Today I finally got Pip to accept riding along in it. It was glorious. We went in a taxi downtown and shopped, walked and shopped some more. I felt so free and happy just trundling around with my kiddo. DH and daughter stayed behind because her sleep schedule is totally freakin' messed up! Pip fell asleep pretty soon into our adventure which gave me hope for our trip in April across the pond.

Going along with the ergo trip is the fact that we separated the kids for the first time. So far, they have spent every waking moment in each other's company. I bet they both enjoyed the break.

Today finished off with a bath, bottle, book (Chicken Licken original version) and then bed. I love rocking in this huge chair with two warm, clean and sleepy bundles listening to their nighttime story. For the first time, they both gave me the 'time to go to bed sign' at the same time (eye rubbing, ear pulling).

It rocks being a mum.

Cranky and annoyed

After a day trip to San Francisco from New York for work and no sleep for two nights due to  babies that seem to regressing on the night sleep thing I am a little cranky today.
Not helped by the fact that I just answered the phone and it was for our nanny. Giving my phone number out to family I understand but this was a call from what a bank or something (they said it was an "urgent matter"). I am so annoyed. Why do people always have to take the piss. I am very good employer. I make every effort to be respectful -  financially, socially and personally. I made it clear that this is more than a baby sitting gig and it reimbursed accordingly. I clearly need to cool off before speaking with her.

How best to approach this? What would you do?

Morning Bliss

This morning Pip & Mimi woke up early. Partly this was due to Mimi's Circ.que de So.leil routine she performs in her crib and partly because I think yesterday was a little messed up. Anyhoo...

We were all up by 6am, fed, bathed and plonked in front of Baby Einstein TV (yes, I babysit my kids with the electronic beast - do stop interrupting) when I noticed they were very content. Pip laughs a lot at the kids in the DVD and bounces in rhythm which I adore. Mimi kind of glazes over and starts nodding out.
I was on the couch with a lovely cup of very expensive Jamaican Blue coffee and outside it was really quiet and white (big snow fall).  I was so frikkin' content I was almost purring.

The natives only get 10 - 15 mins of TV so I turned their chairs to face each other and we played make each other laugh games,  all while I happily sipped my sweet, smooth nectar of the mountain. There is something impossible to describe about how I feel when we play the make each other laugh game. Two small babies cracking each other up is just .... bliss. Mimi opens her mouth in the biggest smile possible and chuckles while Pip grins a humongous smile and giggles hysterically.

Here's my thought for the day. Never, ever name your kid after an emotion. I know three people unlucky to have names dictate their lives...
Happy .... miserable fecker that moaned at me for over an hour today
Hope - despair follows in her wake like a cloak and I had to clean up her mess with clients today
Joy - I do not know if she has the ability to smile.

All three suck. And I am going home early to play 'lets laugh' with my kids.

end of the road?

Still here, still fat and sadly of the 150 people that read my last post only 1 commented (THANK YOU!) Have I come to the end of this blog? I'm not writing about infertility that is for sure. Not that I am not infertile - I have daily reminders of that glorious fact.  Odd, how such a productive person had such a troubled time producing!

Perhaps it time to start a different kind of blog? A family blog perhaps. One about twins? Not sure. What have you enjoyed reading over the past year?

Fat arse and not groovin' ... HELP!!!

OK, I am really really fat. I have more fat on my body than every before in my life and I am not losing it. I am not even trying. I have 90 pounds to shed and I am going, if you can believe this, in the wrong frikkin direction.

What can I do? What did you do? I need your inspiration and ideas here folks.

Happy Birthday Babies

It's been 4 months

:-)

They can smile, laugh, scoot, roll (she can), chatter, coo, self soothe, grab, lick, drool ...

and make mum and dad deliriously happy