Ramping up to The Great Slim Down

I know I have written this post a few times in the past months but this time I mean it!
Saturday is WW weigh-in day. Day 1 of 'The Great Slim Down'. I am fucking HUGE at the moment. I have no clothes that fit other than maternity clothing which lets face it, 9 months after you give birth, is sad.  I mean, I still look 6 months pregnant.

So.

Saturday I go to WW.
Monday at 6am I go to the gym. Since I'm totally crap about getting to the gym in the evening these days I've decided to go work out at 6 - 6.45am during the week. DH has the kids at that time and I usually go back to bed to sleep. I've decided I would rather be less fat and more tired.

If I go to the gym every week for three months I shall then ask my DH for a personal trainer for my birthday.

If I get down to my pre-pregnancy weight I shall have the plastic surgery that I want - basically  aggressive liposuction and cutting off the belly fat. Sounds horrible, will feel horrible but I will get a flat tummy and it will help me get to my goal weight...

... and IF I get to goal I am buying a diamond & emerald eternity ring :))))))))

GAME ON

Fat arse and not groovin' ... HELP!!!

OK, I am really really fat. I have more fat on my body than every before in my life and I am not losing it. I am not even trying. I have 90 pounds to shed and I am going, if you can believe this, in the wrong frikkin direction.

What can I do? What did you do? I need your inspiration and ideas here folks.