Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Don't actively diet ...

.... that's what super coordinator said to me. she discourages actively dieting on a cycle. What does that mean? Don't lose weight or eat what you want? I guess it's not the last one although I would be pretty happy if it did mean that!
I have decided to try and maintain my weight. Which means what tho? I will eat my points , all my points and and my exercise ... oh fuck it. I shall eat healthily and regularly.
Last night I went nuts and had Turkish food. Lots of bread, garlic and yogurt. Ohhhh so good. Passed on the carbs for 8 hours. Needed a IV of pure caffeine this am tho.

Still no AF. According my calculations today is the day. According to them Saturday is the day. I am having cramps and back ache and joint issues so she is around here somewhere. Bitch. Oh look at me, potty mouth. Sorry.

started getting really worried about this thing not working. Its not just my eggs after all. DH has dodgy boys too. Deep breath. Deep Breath women, step away from the ledge of panic. It is what it is. C'est tout, as the French say. If it doesn't work out I'm going away somewhere exotic and expensive. I am going to go to a beach and live a life of total luxury. And cry. Cry an ocean of tears. But in a luxury setting.
If it doesn't work we might have the no kids conversation. Wow. We are that close to having the no kids conversation.

Ok, did I just fall down a Debbie downer rabbit hole?

Looking forward to maternity wear and the lovely NY Autumn that is almost here.


  1. I know that feeling of doubt. The 'what if's' are a bitch. Let's keep our fingers and toes crossed for this cycle. xxoo

  2. I'm sure AF will show herself before long, and then your days of EL will shortly come to a close. I guess "don't actively diet" means don't cut calories - but that's not quite the same as saying indulge in calories to your heart's content. But look at it this way, soon enough you'll be putting on baby weight, so why hold back too much now? You've come a long way, lost the weight you wanted to (and then some, right?) and so I'd say you've been a success. Your transfer should only be 2 or 3 weeks away now? Good - we'll keep you in positive thinking mode!