Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Self medication - update

Lining is still too thick (6.2) so we are pushing the whole cycle by a week. Beginning of October is now the transfer date.
Was reassured this is not a problem.
Not reassured.

The blues got so bad that I doubled my SSRI last few nights and I feel much better. I spoke to my pharmcologist about it she said I was such a low dose that doubling it would bring me into the normal treatment range. What a total relief it is to rise out of it. I even slept better last night. I also think DH spending time with me helped. He gave me a leg rub which helped my body relax. He has amazingly relaxing hands.

So U/S check: 6.2 which is fine, or so Doctor said. One strip. "No cycsts or abnormalitites at all." He stuck the wand up my hoo hoo so quickly that I actually jumped. Hey fella - it's not a hot dog bun.

I also paid for the cycle. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTT! Ok deep breath. It's fine. that is why I work in this job and take all the shit. Ok, I don't take it but ought to take it. And ...... breath out... relax. When I get to hold my little one, all clean after a bath and in a fresh romper suit it will all be worth it. I looked up what someone with my BMI should gain during pregnancy - 11 to 20 pounds. I know what everyone is going to say - too little. But, the guidelines are written for those of you with a BMI of >30. For us fatties, we are have to a)not diet and b) not gain too much. Bit of a balancing act for sure but since it is something I have to concentrate on and work through I feel somehow more relaxed. It will be something to take my mind off all the pregnancy worries which I see my fellow bloggies going through. I know this is somewhat premature (no pun intended). But I want to enjoy this whole process as much as possible, even this bit, even the unknown. I want to live in possible rather than living in a well of ambiguity. I want to wag more and bark less. And since I have self medicated myself into a serotonin high it is an easy thing to do!

Joke:Two sperm were swimming through a woman's body.
The first said, "Whew. I'm getting tired. Just how far is it to the uterus?"
"The uterus?" the second laughed. "We're not even past the esophagus yet!"
found on Infertility Humor


  1. Funny joke...
    Oh do I hear ya on paying for that cycle. Well, at least your u/s was good. (Better than mine, anyway!)

  2. Just reading your update. Gawd....what is it with you and I and our effed up bodily issues pushing out cycle dates? UGH!

  3. Aw,mannnnnnnnnnnnn! I'm so sorry it's been pushed to October, hon...It's good that you're sleeping well and getting leg rubs - what a nice DH you have! Thanks for the joke, and the tip about Infertility Humour...made me laugh! ;-)

  4. I'm sorry about the delay. Maybe the good news is that once you start on the estrogen your lining will happily comply and build up beauitfully. And paying for the cycle had to be a bit painful. Ouch! Everything seems like a trade off, doesn't it? The fresh baby out of the bath sounds so sweet, and it WILL be worth it! I'm glad you got to spend sometime with your DH, being pampered. Keep breathing, you'll get there!

  5. Oh EB -- I'm so sorry, that sounds really stressful. As if you need that crap. Didn't they get the memo: textbook cycle is what we're after here. But, it sounds like they're on top of what will make for hte best transfer and give you the best chances, so that's a silver lining (haha). Thinking of you and hoping you get another nice evening with DH tonight; he sounds great. Love,

  6. Sorry you got pushed back - thank goodness it is ONLY for a week! Hopefully this is the token "thing that goes wrong" and everything else will be perfect. Thinking of you and the EL.