Thursday, September 3, 2009

day off

i love 'em and I'm having one today. So far I have had a gently work out at the gym for a couple of hours, had a leisurely shower, ate an apple and just finished a pro biotic yogurt. Feeling all zen in a hellish l.upron way.

I got news yesterday that i might have to go to san fran next week. Fitting in tests is going to be interesting. I may have to do the red eye back. Fly Monday am, do the meeting and fly back on the red eye. Nice.

I have looking into embryo adoption. It seems like such a good idea. It's way cheaper than adoption, way quicker than adoption and has the added advantage of being biologically connected to the baby. It gives me hope. I guess that's the real thing. It gives me hope.

I also went onto shady grove's website. 20K money back guarantee. WTF! That is amazing. Wish C.ornell did that. The nearest clinic is in Washington DC - no way I could make that work. Nice deal tho. Very nice.

Where am I at today? I have a duality going on. I am at once excited and gloomy. Very odd. I guess after so many years of failure I am having a hard time believing I will get and stay pregnant. Natural, logical and kinda getting in my way of having a good time.

Oh c'mon EB. Pick your damn socks up. Each time IS different and each time is special. Stop being so greedy. You get the chance to do this which is more than many people.
And no, you can't have a dog.


  1. Been doing a lot of thinking about the E adoption also. If my cycle isn't officially cancelled this afternoon, I will be in SF for it next week too. Might you have time to look me up? Of course, that's all such a big IF. Yes, it's the IF word again. Sigh...

  2. I read that you will be in SF and thought "I could come meet you!" and I see K had the same thought. But it seems your day will be full...flying/meeting/flying home. Maybe K and I will have to conspire to kidnap you! We could go to Ghiradelli Square and buy chocolate delicacies! We could have seafood for lunch on Pier 39. We could take a drive down Lombard Street and stop to take touristy pictures of ourselves. Doesn't that sound better than an old meeting?

    Okay, I've indulged myself long enough. Look, stop discounting your upcoming DE cycle. It's going to work! I would have done DE but it was too damn expensive. Embryo adoption is a much cheaper route. I know it's hard to believe. I'm STILL having a daily struggle to convince myself there's still a live baby in there. So falter we must, but every so often, close your eyes and tell yourself "This IS going to work!" MAKE it come true!

  3. Oh EB, zen in a hellish lupron sort of way- made me snort, it did. And yeah, I get the hopefuli/hopeless balance I really do. I like the idea of donor embryos as well-- and like to imagine a next step-- I will try this, but then.... it makes me feel that the road keeps going which is important to My hope. So--

    thinking of you and wishing you a gentle evening to go with your gentle day,


  4. Yay days off. Yay pick up your socks. (Although, we always say "pull up" your socks...and I thought this was an expression exclusive to large families of Irish catholic origin, so I'm very glad to see it's not b/c I've always really liked it.) Boo crummy, evil lupron. I hope for a restful weekend for you. Be easy on your dear self, dear EB, you know that some days it's okay to go entirely wtihout socks. Love to you,