As of now - I AM OFF LUPRON. I MADE IT. New York Marathon -ha! I laugh in your face - try four weeks of high dosage pee.
Oh they never disappoint.
Get to hospital at 6.30am. The private side is closed. OK. The public side is open and I wonder over.
"Hi. Donor Embryo blood" I whisper from behind my big dark glasses and trench coat. She looks at me with such a sublime blank look. She slips her gaze to the electronic signing in machine. OK, I think. Not so sure this is right but hey..!
"where do I sit"
she slips her eyes to the general waiting area.
She has NO CLUE what I am talking about. NONE. I do sit for a moment then walk to the special doors - the doors that hide the nursing staff and have a mythical force that stops the patients walking through. Somewhere inside me I hear a voice "they are incompetent... don't trust them".
With the voice in my ears I push through the double doors and the piano player stops playing, the chatter hushes and all eyes turned to me.
"Hi, donor embryo blood?"
No movement, not a hair. 12 nurses or staff or whatever all blankly looking at me. reminds me of a herd of sheep when you ask them directions to a village.
"My donor triggered last night"
Ahhhhh, recognition spread across their faces.
"follow me dear" says a very odd looking nurse. She looks at her desk, flips through a mound of paper, hands me a set of written instructions and I go to get my b/w and u/s done. All is well, by the way.
I mean could it be less of a show do you think? I know there was three other couples waiting in the public room!! All they needed to do was to say - go to the waiting room, tell a nurse you are in the donor program and we will do the rest.
Jill asked me if I was going to write a letter to my donor. I don't know. I am in two minds. Not sure if she would get it or if the hospital discourages it. More importantly I have no idea what I would write. 'Thank you' of course. But what else?? Does she want to hear from me? Is the letter really a way of processing this all? What do you guys think?