We won't get the FERT report until tomorrow - they wait to see how many eggs do the dance of joy with my husbands sperm. Please let us get at least 2. Please.
Then Thursday I go in for b/w and we hear whether it's a 3 day (Friday) or 5 day (Sunday) transfer. I am shaking right now, shaking as I write those words. Transfer.
We had couples therapy last night. This is something we have done since we met, way before we got married. Neither one of us has family - his died and mine are not capable of grown up support, so we decided that the therapy would be vital for long term happiness. An impartial and trained ear. It has worked wonders.
Anyway, last night, we were explaining what happens this week and after. I asked DH if he wanted me to NOT POAS and why. He explained that PUPO was better emotionally for us as a couple and, in his opinion, my body. All the stress of 'not yet' or 'oh no' etc would flood my body with chemicals (he has a chemistry degree). His biggest reason was that after all the work we have both been through (ahem) he wanted to enjoy PUPO for as long as we can. The pregnancy test is scheduled for October 12th. I'm no maths whiz but I worked out that is 10 days from Sunday. 10 DAYS!!!!
I promised DH I would not POAS. I will keep my promise even though it means I have to rethink my approach to the next two weeks. I am a sticker for keeping promises. I want my husband to know that even though I have all the opportunity in the world to 'cheat' I will not. Even though it would satisfy an urge the size of America! The other cycles I ignored his request. Now, I will not. I will not POAS in secret.
So, my dearest friends (and that is indeed how I see you sage women) thank you for everything over this past cycle. I know the mountain of work has yet to come but you have supported me unconditionally for the past 4 weeks with generosity and affection. This cycle was far harder emotionally and chemically than any of the others and without you I would have done an Ophelia. I am forever, in your debt.