Yesterday was a hard day. We cried a bit then calmed down and said "it's still early". We went for lunch, went to the movies and went for diner. All day our conversation came back to adoption. DH is really uncomfortable with a fully open adoption but he came around to the idea of a semi -open adoption. We contacted an agency in VT that has no age restrictions and applied for their December intro workshop. It's not that he has given up. DH realized when speaking with the agency how quickly the spaces fill up. I, on the other hand, thought "I know we still have a chance with this cycle and we have the frosties but ..."
There it is. The doubt and fear. The evaporation of belief. I do have moments that rise up and make me feel hopeful but now they're mediated with a little voice that says "be careful, you can look but don't think you can be one of them"
I POAS today, it came back negative.
Which brings me to my question. Would you do another round of DE? Or go straight to adoption?