Monday, October 19, 2009

And... ow!!.

AF is here. I am glad. I am relieved that last cycle is now done with. I don't get to do the sonogram thingy this week and probably won't with Cornell. I don't want to go back to that clinic for a while. It is really painful but I just took some pain killers suggested by the hospital and I totally stoned! I have the munchies but I think that is just a natural state.

They drama is lifting a little bit everyday. Back at work, back in the chaos, is nice. I was fine yesterday night after working out like a demon and having a long hot soak in my bath. This morning I am anxious again but it could be to do with the amount of coffee I drank!! Deep breaths, sunny skies and a realistic look at my life helps. I am lucky in most parts of my life. Hopefully I will catch a break in this one area soon.

I have some fun trips coming up and have booked my trainer for 3 hours a week (which means I will do a minimum of 5 hours a week). We have some fun projects at work and some crazy clients. I will not let this last cycle ruin my autumn. It is a wonderful time of year and I look forward to it.

My biggest challenge is knock on emotion. So when I feel depressed I feel anxious, I get paranoid my lead team will quit or I will get fired or someone will steal a client etc. Mostly my anxiety is focused on being left high and dry at work. So I need to think about how to keep level headed and focused.

Guys, I know I have said it before but here it comes again. Thank you. Your consistent support has been my life line and my hope.


  1. I am glad to hear that you are back to work and hoping you are able to keep the anxiety away.
    Trips and workouts sound like a good way to keep yourself focused, it always helps me :)

  2. Good to hear you're getting some relief with AF and you sound generally quite energized - yay for you! Keep up the excellent work, lady!

  3. So happy to hear AF is here. New beginnings ahead! I wish I had half of your motivation to do the gym thing. It's always in the back of my mind but I never quite get there. Kudos to you for your commitment! You're such a strong person and I know you'll get through all of this. Always keep your eyes on the prize!


  4. I like this post. You wrote like you were a bit stoned! But this made it very real and honest...about your fears and hopes and a stream of consciousness. Cool. And I hear ya, and hope everything falls into place for you soon.