Saturday, October 17, 2009

A day better

When I awoke this morning I didn't have a stone in my stomach. I didn't wake up crying. I was glad to wake up. I think, folks, I may have turned the corner. I even have the embers of excitement about crazy Dr Jessie and our adoption routes.

I am still feeling queasy and getting bad cramps but no AF. That's 5 days off the drugs. Anyone else feel queasy when they came off the drugs?
I did a bunch of medical research about lup.ron etc. Lupr.on increases the lining. Increases it!! And it decreases estrogen not suppresses it, decreases it. I thought I was already in menopause because my E2 levels were sluggish.

Dr Jessie does 2 injections of Lur/pon instead of daily. She only uses the E2 pills not the patches. Sounds like my DE cycle might be kinda easy! I have our kick off meeting next Sat. According to the women that just got preggers through Dr J (and had tons of failures at C.L) " it's so different from C/L. There is hardly any paper work and its really low key. That's good and bad. You are relaxed but you never quite know what is going on!" I am going to take in a three month calender. Get her to write key events on it. Write in possible NO TRAVEL dates so I can organize my work and then let her do her thing. I am no longer anxious about her. She is successful because she puts back tons of embryo's. I even hope to get a vacation in here somewhere.

Another C.L WTF moment was when my RE said "we should have put back three or four of these embryo's or waited till day 5" Ahhhhhhhhh. Yeah, ya think!

OK, i have hereby let go of all that negative shit. C/L didn't do a great job and I am done with that. Moving on.


It's weigh in day. Disclaimer: I wore jeans and sweater coz its freezing. I was up 3.4 pounds. I don't really care. I think I am even. However, it is time to start feeding my body with healthy autumn foods and working out. 10 pounds by Christmas. 10 pounds by my transfer!


  1. Hi - I've been following your blog the last few days & am so sorry your cycle did not work. Infertility just sucks!!!! I was wondering if you could elaborate on why C/L did a bad job? I tried to look at your older posts & couldn't figure it out. Just want to avoid any mistakes in my cycle, if I can.
    I wish you luck with DE - sending lots of positive thoughts! :)

  2. I love your outlook. Happy you are moving on to a new Dr. It's time.

  3. You sound SO MUCH BETTER. I mean, you even changed the Blog header to include the new steps in the plan... this is all very very good and I am very happy that you are feeling better about where you are.

    I am collecting low-cal recipes, if you want any (so that my boy and I can collectively lose 30 lbs by Jan 1)... let me know if you want any of the ones I thought were winners.

  4. I can't believe C.L did a 3-day transfer and didn't genetically test the embryos to give you the best chance of success the first time. It's so frustrating. I hope Dr. J is the answer - sounds like she is MUCH more successful than C.L.
    Great outlook - keep up the good positive vibes.


  5. YAY Dr. J sounds like a sane choice, and you-- the blues may ebb and flow EB, grief sucks like that as you know, BUT forward motion is the best possible antidote.

    take good care of yourself, indulge in some root veggies, (like yams? they are great for you!) and be kind to yourself in this in-between time. I love that you are moving forward with someone so different-- I am pretty sure if I could choose on your behalf, I would chose someone DIFFERENT and please please please advocate for better communication from the onset. Cornell was insanely bad at that.

    thinking of you and sending good wishes your way for a corner turned and forward progress and SUCCESS in your near future.

  6. I am so inspired by you, EB - you have managed to regroup and begin healing and figure out what you need to do next - you are my hero! Be good to yourself - you so deserve it, you wise, strong, very cool mom-to-be!

  7. Yay for a new outlook, for Dr. Jessie's technique - so different from C'nell. I hope it is an easy cycle and that she finds just the right approach to make your new year the happiest ever.