So I ducked out early from work yesterday and crashed on the settee for the rest of the day. No choir for me. I'll leave early today and quietly take advantage of my job being about writing and thinking (which I can do from home).
Anxiety levels a little high today. However I started reading a book about carrying twins and apparently its normal to be anxious and afraid. Which is good to know since I thought I was just being totally ungrateful and spoiled. DH is happy but has studiously avoided reading anything about the complications of carrying twins. Situation bloody normal. We see the final specialist soon and then get to make the decision about whether we can go forward with the twin pregnancy. It's so surreal to have tried so hard, for so long and now to be having these conversations. Baby B isn't progressing at the same rate as Baby A so they might just say do nothing and let nature take it's course. Do you think that would be more stressful than a definitive action? I thought that makes the risk to Baby A even higher?
I am so frikkin' tired. Have been all day. Nothing kicks my ass into gear. I was in a meeting this morning surrounded by Star$ coffee and I just wanted to crawl in to one those cups. I am only allowed 20mmg of caffeine a day (which is maybe half a cup of decaf). Boooooooooo. I want to inject caffeine and feel normal again, if only for a moment.
I have found that every other day I am trashed from the moment I wake up to when I go to bed. Must be to do with the ebb and flow of the drugs in my system. Or not!