I'm having a hard time today. I can't shake the feeling that this pregnancy is over and I am just waiting for the tell tale signs. I am checking my undies every five mins. All the aches and pains from my uterus are warning and signals of the inevitable. I feel defeated and I hate ... HATE ... feeling like this. I went to the clinic this morning but it was closed - thanks for telling me assholes. So I have to wait till Monday for another hcg test.
Maybe I am just superstitious. We got the pregnancy books out of purgatory and have been reading them. Each time we do that I m/c. I am not sure where the aches in my uterus are - middle, side. lower, upper. My back is killing me, which I think is a good sign coz it means my uterus is expanding. I guess my fears are well founded. We have got this far before a few times but no further. If I had had a decent doctor for my first pregnancy he would have caught the blighted ovum way before 11 weeks.
So, that is it. I am afraid because we are here. We are in the place where it all usually goes wrong. What am I now? 5 weeks? oh man the first trimester is like one big 2ww. i wish i could drink booze - i would sedate myself thru it!
Sorry for sounding so ungrateful and whiney.