Dh stepped up - I think he heard y'all! He took the day off work (unheard of) to get me to my chiro appt and Dr J.
I have a herniated disk bulging onto the group of nerves that causes sciatica. The ortho surgeon discussed what carrying twins might look and feel like for me and the risks to the peanuts. Scary stuff. There is a high risk of losing both if my spine and pelvis carriage deteriorate.
The spine specialist didn't want to council one way or the other because he believes it's too early. Wr shall have the discussion in 2 weeks in a field consult with a bunch of other specialists.
Dr J on the other hand is confident that all will be well!
The other specialist are split 50/50.
We heard the heartbeats again. One is measuring behind the other but all in all pretty stable. Dr J thinks I might be off the PIO shots in a week or two!! WOW!! She will keep me past the 8 weeks mark, maybe till 11 weeks since I am such a high risk. We discussed where I go next and I told her my choices and she approved, so that was a relief.
I keep imagining the day after, in the hospital room, with a live little one or two to feed and cuddle. I just keep thinking - eyes on the prize Eb. You have never got this far before. Keep your head and your strength will follow.
That having been said I had a major meltdown yesterday. Cried and cried for hours and DH listened to every odd and wild thing that came out of my mouth. I cried about how fearful I am, how afraid of nothing going wrong and having kids, everything going wrong and not having kids, of DH leaving, of our marriage breaking under the stress, of my broken body and the risks it poses to the peanuts. I felt so much better afterwards! it must be exhausting living with such a freak. I have to get up every 90 mins at the moment due to pain so i wake him up continuously. Tonight however I am taking my pain pills at midnight, a full dose, so we might both get some much needed shut eye.