Monday, January 4, 2010

Oh c'mon!!

Bloody clinic is closed till tomorrow. For fucks sake.
I hate it when clinics are lazy about disseminating information. I went all the way there and the weird guy from the back starts on a diatribe about how he knows nothing coz no-one tells him anything yada yada. I don't care mister - I just want a HCG test. I shall have to wait until Wednesday to know what my HCG is doing.

And breath.

I get an u/s on Thursday. If there is no heartbeat on Thursday I will immediately go to blighted ovum, which is one of my biggest fears at the moment. We have been pregnant a few times but nothing ever grew. Just the sac. If there is a baby in there I am totally getting one of those doppler things. I shall tape it to my belly so I can hear it all day. If it is a blighted ovum I shall assume that its down to DH's DNA. Is that a correct assumption?

Going back to work tomorrow is the best thing for me. I need to start bossing people around and thinking about something else. And I have choir tomorrow night. Oh crap - haven't learnt the music. Oops!! Three weeks off and I haven't learnt a single note.
Work without coffee or caffeine of any sort. Man, this is gonna be brutal!


  1. Argh!!! I've been checking all morning and the clinic wasn't even open?!! I am annoyed for you.

    Try not to get too many steps ahead of yourself. Chances are you are still in good shape, go with the last info you had from the clinic (excellent). And how exciting to have the u/s Thursday! You are still pretty early for a h/b aren't you? This is totally the agonizing part, when you just want to be sure there is actually a baby in there and it's alive!

    I love the thought of you walking around with a doppler taped to your belly - that is great. Go learn your music (and I will do the same...) what cha singin?

  2. Hey, we are doing Brahms German Requiem. Bit of a sing but the alto line is a doozy!

  3. I can't believe they were closed! Uggghhhhhh. So frustrated for you!

  4. Ok drama queen....step away from the anxiety button. I's hard to do. Believe me. Fine to get another Hcg. But you are too early for a heartbeat. Too early!!! Try to relax. Try to let your body do what it's supposed to do. It knows more than you do. Hard to believe for us control freaks but it's true.

  5. Gah! Having to make the trip for nothing is what sucks the most. I'll be thinking about you on Wednesday, as it is the day I also have to wait to check in on the monsters with DocOB. I had these three week in betweensies. I should have bought a freaking doppler.

  6. Uh, jeez, I hope everyone at the clinic had a nice freaking holiday. Whatthehell not open today? Are you 6 weeks yet? I'm over here counting on my fingers trying to figure it out. They'll be able to see a heartbeat at 6 weeks. Yeah, breathe! I think it's going to be just fine. So go learn your songs!

  7. Clinic closed, what a pain. Have I mentioned about what a basket case I was for the first 6-8 weeks? Really, around the bend, crazy stressed out, obsessively terrified at all times, and convinced above all that this was too much good luck and it would therefore be taken from me, if it ever really existed in the first place. At any rate -- I can relate to where you're at even as I also hope very much for some calm and peace to get in there too; and some good distraction of interesting (or at least demanding) work, and good music, and all the rest. Love to you EB, check it out: you're a pregnant lady!