Wednesday, July 22, 2009

so many pregnancies

Is it me or is everyone pregnant! Please don't misinterpret my wonder as mean spirit. I get such unchallenged joy reading the postings of our preggybloggers.But, in the middle of the night, when all is quiet, I wondering in my totally IF insane way, if all the good luck has been used up. I know - totally irrational and stupid. I am excited about DE coz the % are great. But I cant help feeling that I am gonna be in the unlucky 45%.
I keep looking at the adoption sites and wondering if my rash decision to hold off filling in the paper work is going to bit me in the ass!! DH wanted to hold off and I agreed in coz I felt so hopeful. And I admit, I want to be pregnant. I didn't have any burning need before I started IVF but now. Well, I do want to be the one growing the little one. I do want to know what it's like.

I guess this is what is meant by hope.


  1. I was thinking the same thing about all of the positives. And because I am a statistical sicko, I was figuring out the number of + vs - in my blogworld and calculated that statistically, it's not my turn. How's that for crap? BTW, how is Miss Kitty?

  2. I've been there as well where it seems everyone is pregnant. We made the decision to do DE more than a year ago, and just now went through our cycle. It took us (well really my husband) to get on board with finding our donor. During that year many other bloggers got pregnant, but many of them also struggled for years. I'm 7dp3dt and awaiting my beta on Sunday. I'll be 41 years old in September, so this would be a great birthday present if it works. I hope you can embrace your cycle and not focus on all of the other preggo bellies. Hopefully before long yours will be one of them too!! It will be your time to celebrate!!

    I do have a question for you however and have considered sending you a private email - are you sure you want to share a donor? We did not share a donor and it's a good thing because we got 15 eggs out of our 24 year old donor, but only 9 were mature and only 7 fertilized. On day 3 only 3 looked decent - so all 3 were transferred. Of the 4 remaining they were all 4-cells on Day 3. We did end up getting one of them to grow to blast and was frozen, but the rest died. I can't imagine having those numbers and sharing with another couple. I know someone who did 4 DE cycles at Cornell, 2 of them were shared, and she didn't get pregnant on any of them. That may just be a rare case and she is now trying at another clinic. I'm not trying to upset you, but I just want you to really think about sharing or not sharing a donor. Sorry, I know I don't comment on your blog much, and mine is private. However if you want to email me - it's I just want you to have the best chance for success.

  3. It's true. It does seem like everyone is getting pregnant. My SIL just went into early labor with her second daughter. Ironically, this happened on Sun., the same day that I got my period after my 4th and final IVF. That was very emotionally painful for me. That's not the worst of it, I caught a virus in the office during my retreival. Started a fever 36 hrs. later. Everyone assumed it was a sinus infection. We should've never put the eggs back in. After 2 rounds of antibiotics and a course of steroids, I'm still getting over it, now DH is sick. I had prayed about this last IVF before I was sick. I have to believe it was supposed to happen this way. Anything else is too painful.
    I'm all for DE's, but I think it is too expensive for us and I'm already 41. I can save up, but will I be too old at 43-44? DH is not as enthusiastic about the idea. There's adoption, but seems to be just as expensive (even from other countries). You end up having to fly to the country and wait 4-6 weeks for paperwork to go throug. Meanwhile the child gets older and older. Forget about adopting from the US unless you take an older foster child, and that's not always the best situation. Can be challenging on a marriage. Paying for donor eggs. Isn't that an oxymoron? I'm actually glad that I'm sick, we can't go see the new baby. Argued with DH the other day because "it's not his sister's fault that I can't get pregnant"! Are you kidding me! I'm going to blame that remark on his illness. However, after 11 1/2 yrs. of marriage, I guess I should know better. Enough about me and my issuses.

    It's great that kitty is eating. Very encouraging that the Vet. isn't worried about her hiding in the corner. It's so hard with animals because they can't talk. Just keep trying to monitor her drinking. Maybe mark her water bowl with masking tape to see if it goes down. Give her a lot of love. And please do give us updates. I know this blog is about IF, but most of us IF's are very attached to some sort of animal. I think that's when we all realized that we wanted to be a mom. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

  4. Wow, EB, even the comments are heavy today. All I'm going to say is that I want you to look up and out, into the universe, then close your eyes, spread your arms apart, and silently send out the message, "I am ready to be pregnant." Pregnancy luck does not diminish over time, it expands and grows and multiplies. The overwhelming population of the earth is evidence enough. Thinking of you and Miss Kitty.

  5. sending you a big hug. all the good luck hasn't been used up, i know there is more out there for you. Thank God for hope :)

  6. Sorry, I just saw kitty's update from last night. Well, that sounds better anyway. I love animals, especially cats. Please continue to let us know how she is doing...

  7. I know what you mean about the pregnancies - for ICLW Week, I've been checking out a lot of new IF blogs and a lot of them are preggo blogs now, which is great but hard...
    I believe that good luck is like love - there's no limit. You have an amazing chance coming up with your DE and your heart is open, and we are all here to support you along the way.
    (Please give us an update about Miss Kitty, too!)

  8. I know how you feel about being on the wrong side of the stats! I am really hoping this new doc can make me believe corrective surgery is what I need, and my earlier successful pg was just an amazing fluke never to be repeated. I have great hope for you being successful, even though I "get" that "all the good luck is used up" feeling!

  9. Hey there EB,
    I guess I just wanted to say I get it.
    On the one hand, I believe that this can work.
    On the other, I worry that it won't for me.

    And I am going to do what best when used by suggested,
    "I am ready to be pregnant"
    followed by
    a perfectly normal healthy prenancy followed by a perfectly normal and healthy birth and a perfectly normal and healthy child and kate.

    I always like to cover my bases.

    Thinking of you,