Friday, July 17, 2009


Hi everyone and thank you for all the support this week. totally makes all the difference, I tell ya. But you know that, right?
First of all - Sprogblogger - AWESOME. That's all I have to say about that.

Cat: a little better. Pissed off which means she isn't delirious anymore. She recognized me yesterday and wanted to be picked up. She is yelling at everyone! Phew. She is still in the ICU but I am cautiously optimistic.

DE: I bugged 'em. Fuck it - I pay enough to damn well bug 'em. Here is the scoop. The other recipient is having lots of test done. The coordinator will put together our dates after the other recipient's last visit next week. It looks like we will not be starting mid August, like I had hoped. On the up side, the longer we wait the more weight I can lose and the more my chances of successful transfer etc. So OK, I'll wait. Just not too freakin' long!

As I have mentioned before my drug of choice is food. If I am happy, I'll eat. If I am sad, I'll eat. Boredom - ya. So this week has tested my resolve to the limit. I walk back from the Animal Hospital, holding back sobs, checking my email every step of the way to see if Cornell has got it together and all I can think is ... chocolate cake, fries, BBQ, carbs and fat. Have I "given in" ? No. And I have walked 10,000 steps everyday. Each time the urge comes I think "I can eat that but Cat will still be in the ICU and I will still working towards becoming pregnant" So this week I have learnt that I can do it without the food. Crap week, big lesson.


  1. Well, as I've said before, you're a motivator for me. Your weightloss rational and battles with chocolate cake ever so hit home. I admire your personal assessment that the food doesn't change the circumstances. And yes, you are PAYING enough, so I think you're entitled to bug all you want. SO happy to hear Miss Kitty is perking up a bit. Please post a pic of her.

  2. A big sigh of relief for Kitty. If she feels good enough to be cranky and demanding, she is on the mend! And I'm over here cheering for you for (1) calling Cornell (at least now you know where things are) and (2) for fighting off your demons (chocolate, fries, etc). Lady is taking control!

  3. I am so proud of you. This was a very difficult week and you are making it through with tenacity and grace. I think that your kitty is on the mend. Surly kitty = improving. I would be surly in her situation. And at least you know what is the hold up with Cornell, why didn't they just say that in the first place?!? Argh! Hoping you have a good weekend to make up for a lousy week.

  4. Yeah, why didn't Cornell just TELL you what was going on? I love your delay=lose more weight thought! I'm sure it won't be long now since all parties are engaged, and Cornell is big enough I'm sure they do continuous transferring (unlike our little clinic where you get 6 opportunities per year). And crabby kitty is way better than listless drugged up kitty! Hope everything works out with her - good luck!

  5. a pissed off kitty is a GREAT SIGN, that is great news.
    and well now, at least you now know the story about cornell, and I hope that they keep you in the loop.
    Your attitude about food is so inspiring-- i share the addiction but your really honest realization that eating will not bring you closer to your goals felt like a real Ah ha to me. I know it is obvious, but it is hard to remember or even think about when seeking comfort. So, good for you! And also, thank you, a great and simple question-- will this bring me closer to my goals?