Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy 4th

In the cab yesterday DH looked over and grinned "we get a packet next week" .. er what? It took me ages to work out he was talking about the Donor Egg match packet that has all our details in it. It's the first sense of excitement I have had from him (which is usual, it takes time). Now he is treating me like I am pregnant and/or 4 years old (practicing to be dad).

I started to worry, fret and all round anxiously nit pick at the fact this is not a done deal. I read blogs of women for whom DE didn't work or hasn't worked. I keep thinking we should be filling out adoption papers just in case. This is how we started IVF . We were more than hopeful. We were confident. DH really thinks this is going to work. He keeps quoting stats and saying things like 'and with the weight loss'...

Do I jump off cliff and hope I can fly? Or do I shuffle along, jumping in the air and have very brief moments of joy but a safe journey???

Today is the anniversary of my first m/c and the start of our journey through IVF. I am in a much better place now than a year ago, not least because of you, the supporters and coaches I have come to rely on.

Happy 4th to you all.


  1. Okay, even coming from a place today that I'm feeling very suspicious I have ANOTHER chemical pregnancy, I'll say this. Donor eggs have an extremely high success rate. Now, that's a blanket statement and there are many clinics where they've just not done a decent amount (and there's donor and recipient coordination involved that is NOT to be taken lightly) or have stats that are in the 50% range. I would call that low for donor eggs.

    I think giving youself the best shot means going to a clinic that has really good stats.

    Does it work for EVERYONE? No. I mean, adoption fails too and it's tragic when it does. Nothing is a guarantee. But donor eggs are definitely the best shot in the IF world.

    It's nice that your DH is getting excited!

  2. I think you should keep your heart in a place where you feel its best. It could be in a place of hope, it could be in a place of caution, it could be both. I wish you and your DH all the best and will be here to offer cheers and support no matter what place you choose. :-) Traci

  3. It's funny how our thoughts, fears and hopes all rise and fall in fluid, rhythmic undulations. We read the stats about DE (or in my case donated embryos), we become hopeful and excited, thinking, yeah, this is going to work! Then doubt creeps in, and we slowly become more concerned, doubtful and fearful. At some point we become convinced that "it won't work for me." But then we see other blogs and - jeepers - people are getting BFPs left and right at the moment. So a ray of hope returns, and we ride the wave back up to the crest again. I don't know if it's possible to avoid it, or to permanently convince ourselves of one outcome or the other until proof is shown + or -. But I think you are a graceful rider. Graceful in your managment of the ups and downs and seasoned in your knowledge of what could be. With that in mind, I say, get your donor packet, think and plan joyfully about making a baby, and hold on tight when you find yourself on the verge of another down-swoop. Does it still look like you could cycle in August?