Tuesday, December 1, 2009


Not sure if we will be doing ICSI although I am assuming we will be. Wish I had the list of stuff covered. I think the drop in count was due to Mr's high temp a few weeks ago. Or am I just making that up?! He went for the blood tests yesterday so I guess we will know soon enough. Whatever, I am just gonna ignore the whole damn thing. This
one cost' price is now way over the number she gave me at the beginning of the whole process. Its comparable to Cornell but I don't want to tell DH right now. The stress of all this is enough as it is.

I see Dr J on Saturday - no idea why~!~ situation normal. I don't mind actually. I mean, when I was at C.nll I knew everything. I knew what each meeting was for and why, what numbers meant etc.

I couldn't tell you what my e2 is.

I wonder if it will work? Kara's mom just got a great beta result and I am so frikkin happy for her. I swear, my heart was beating so hard when I saw her post title (BETA results). I opened the post with one eye closed, holding my breath. If anyone deserves this it is Kara's ma. Sometimes when I read a postie beta I have to admit I get jealous or pissed off. Why her and not me. Then there are others that make it all seem right and good. Kara's mum, Best when used by... I admit it, its the folks I like. Those positives almost make my negatives seem ok. Does that sound totally weird? I don't care.

I am on a plane with Internet access. cool. Got a kid behind me that is kicking my chair. not cool. I will give the parent 30 mins to stop the little shit and then they will get the polite but means business English byatch ....

"You are kicking my chair back. It is dreadfully irritating. Stop it now. Thank you, dear"

While I am at it ....

"Hello universe. Enough. I have had enough with the head games. It is impolite to saddle me with infertility in the first place, dear, but to guide me towards a fellow with similar issues? Was that just for shits and giggles? Now, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, get the fuck out of my way so I can become the momma I am meant to be. Many thanks"


  1. I think a fever can affect sperm count - so I think you are right to put it out of your mind for now. Keep your eye on the prize! And in this insane time you should go to a concert, I assume you are not singing with your choir due to the cycle insanity, but maybe you can go hear them or someone else perform. It really does soothe the soul! Especially for us music-y people. I am very excited to go to a concert I'm NOT playing in tonight (no Christmas music, just fabulous chamber stuff). Take care, thinking of you.

  2. Oh you go girl!!!! Enjoy SF once more. :)
    As far as the sperm issue goes, sperm take 75-90 days to mature and travel to their exit. So whatever caused the lower count was the result of something a few months ago. Or possibly, the result of nothing. Hang in there....you are getting close. Weather is dandy here on the West coast. You should have a nice stay.

  3. You make me grin when you swear. Always creative and perfectly tailored to the circumstance. Kids kicking a plane seat back is way at the top of my list of most annoying things. Mostly because you're trapped and can't escape. I hope you gave a marvelously stern English lashing.

    But, oh, EB, I am so hopeful your DH's count will be back up. I can imagine that fever would kill sperm. You deserve a miracle this holiday, if anyone does. And I'm humbled that you feel okay with my pg - I sometimes worry that my happy posts sorely sting the people I care about who are still waiting for their blessing to occur. You never cease to amaze or impress me.