I started having cramps yesterday. I ate A TON of food - all of it was delicious but perhaps it was too much food. Anyway, I bloated up like a puffer fish (still bloated) and slept for hours. Then I had cramps and.... panicked. I know cramps are normal but somehow I just couldn't get over the fear of this pregnancy being over.
Good news is that there are no cramps today and I am exhausted after visiting a friend for 4 hours. So I think I am still pregnant. I'm not panicked anymore. But I am still a little fearful.
I visited my friend because she is having a very surprising reacting to adopting a dog. She's wanted a dog for as long as I have known her. They finally decided to adopt this year. She has what can only be described as post natal depression. She is depressed and can't bond with the dog, she hasn't slept or eaten in three days. She was in tears. All she wants is to give the dog back but she is racked with guilt. The dog needs training and is very underweight but all told is a healthy cute dog. She is totally and utterly overwhelmed by the responsibility of 'loving' something. She was in tears for 4 hours worried about how everyone would feel and react to her giving the dog back, wondering why she didn't want to be around the dog.
Sometimes it is interesting to see life outside the IF world. How we are all connected and struggling. I wonder what it will be like to bring home a baby after so many years of it being IF.