Monday, December 21, 2009

Day 7 or 6dp5dt

I tested again. BFN. I know, its early. Ya da ya da

When I got back to bed, I checked my emails on my phone and there was a surprise announcement from friends of ours that they had brought home a baby home. They had adopted a baby boy in OK and brought him home yesterday.

Now, of course, I am delighted for them

I am also fucking furious.

These people came to our wedding. They have been part of our lives and losses. We have spoken about adoption and all the problems we are having (I am not a citizen so most agency's wont work with us) and about our IVF disappointments and m/s.

They never mentioned a thing about their adoption and then send out an 'everyone' email. They have offered no help, contacts, ideas and now not a shred of sucking empathy. What the fuck! DH just said "why them, not us?" It's exactly what I felt when I read the email.

Why not us?

I realize this sounds very selfish. I don't care.


  1. I so wish I could come sit with you, bitch with you and cry with you. I am so sorry about the BFN on your test - I got another this morning myself. And I can't believe your "friends" - you have every right to be furious. I'm furious for you. All I can say is that the world fucking sucks right now - I know it's Christmas and all but it just sucks. Big hugs to you.

  2. I'm so sorry. I wish it was you too.

  3. Be selfish. You have total permission.



  4. sending you a big hug. i agree, why them?

  5. I would be livid.
    However, when we started our adoption process (at a big and well known agency-EAC), they wanted us to sign a legal clause that stated would not talk about the adoption in any forms of written media or by phone until it was complete. This means no blogging, no telling friends. I have a friend who went through the same thing with a domestic agency. I was told after I ask is that people compare adoption processes and in the US, birthmothers were backing out of the process after reading blogs. Odd isn't it that the internet could poison relationships to the point it could fail an adoption?
    I'm keeping everything crossed for you

  6. I'm sorry about the feelings about your friends' news. As to the meaningless BFN, don't worry about that!