Goodbye and Hello

I'm not really one for New Years Eve. Never understood the point and I hate crowds (yes, I live in NYC!) I'm really uncomfortable around drunk people and thankfully my dh has little interest in this party night so we tend to ignore it. We tend to watch a movie snuggled up at home, usually covered in contented cat. Can't think of anything better to be honest. I shall ask DH if he wants to watch a movie on the bed so we can get a full on cuddle - best kind.

I'm feeling tired and wan (good old English word there). I do not wake up feeling overjoyed that I am pregnant or smiling and rubbing my belly. I wake up and think 'another day of not fucking it up'. I feel all the responsibility and non and of the control which is hard. I am eating well, sleeping well, resting when needed (most of the time!) and generally being a good girl but I think I am lonely and need me some friend time. have isolated myself over the past year, what with treatments and hope, despair and and all that. Maybe I should send out a lunch invite for today, see who is around?


Odd things are happening physically which I thought I'd share.
1. my farts smell like boiled cabbage and are very present
2. my pee smells like fortified horse pee and equally as present
3. boobs have gone square - square!!
4. skin is as soft as a baby's bum
5. drug addict acne (under my nose). mmn thanks
6. I have no cognitive skills left. Forgetting words left right and ... er...
7. Hunger has abated and now I am very mildly queasy
8. if I don't eat every two hours its like someone pulled my plug out.
9. bad back owwwwww
10. bloating like a premenstrual puffer fish

And wouldn't change any of it for the world.

I hope you have a fun Nw Years Eve, where ever you are. May 2010 be a peaceful, joyous and productive year, Thank you for all your help, guidance, support and honesty in 2009.