Sunday, December 27, 2009

and breathing out...

I am a little less panic stricken today. Thank you everyone. How does anyone do this without you lot??

And I watched my food intake yesterday - very little salt and sugar, lots of veggies and protein and lost 4 pounds so I am very happy. After the struggle to lose weight this year I am super sensitive about any weight gain. I was told that I am not supposed to gain any weight in the first trimester and then up to 20 pounds by the end of the pregnancy, if I want a healthy pregnancy.

I thought I would be walking on air if we ever got a BFP but both DH and I are anxious and grouchy. I'm tired all the time (which I count as a symptom and therefore LOVE) and I seem to be going further and further into my own internal world. I am happiest when left alone to read a novel. Being around people makes me exhausted. The best word to describe it is fragile. Which I guess indicates how desperately we want this to work and how fearful we are of having a m/c. How I envy those women that are surprised at 10 weeks.

I think I get to see the polka dot tomorrow, at my next beta test. Just had a rush of excitement at the thought! I shall get all the info for those that are interested. So far I know my first beta was 30 something and my Progesterone level was 12 (6dp5dt)


  1. I'm so glad you're feeling better. I agree, this whole pregnancy thing isn't for the faint of heart. Hoping that polka dot shows up nice & clear and that your second beta shows a perfect rise. Thinking of you.

  2. I am fragile like that much of the time, I sooooooo get that.
    tomorrow? reassurance. It will be magical and it will help a lot.
    as Sprog says, none of this is for the faint of heart.
    and your weight fluctuations? sound like water not real weight, so please be gentle with yourself. aim for health and good quality fuel and try to be nice to my sweet EB.

  3. I agree with Kate, it sounds like water and not real weight. I think you'll do just fine with the total weight gain issue.

    Fragile. Yes. That's a good way to describe the first trimester. I'm sorry it's not all down hill and easy after the BFP. I hope tomorrow's appointment reassures you. I don't think you'll see the heart flicker until at least 6 weeks though, so be prepared. Sending you love and prayers.

  4. Weight gain is definitely from the steroid. You may see it for awhile and then when you stop taking them (which you will) it will be like the pounds went away overnight. Be patient my dear, you're on the path to good things. :)

  5. I know we don't know each other, but I read your blog every day. I LIVE through your blog, because I'm about to start my 2nd IVF shots tomorrow. I cannot tell you how HAPPY I am to read about your BFP and your polka dot!!! Every night I climb into bed and read your blog, and it gives me hope. I blabber about it to my husband, and he's getting grumpy hearing me blabber about it so much. It's so nice to escape into your blog and feel hope and friendship. I'm a fragile piece of glass right now that cries at baby diaper commercials. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your world with me.

  6. Fragile is a really good word to describe the 1st trimester. I was still pretty fragile, in fact, until 24 weeks. After 24, I think I finally let out a small sigh of relief.

    I am so happy for you and cannot wait to hear more about your little polka dot! :)

  7. I totally understand fragile. I POAS a stick again this morning to see if the line was darker which made me feel more confident. Silly, I know. I'll be thrilled if we can get to a HB.

    As for weight gain, I shot up 5 lbs on the progesterone alone and I do every cycle. This isn't the best time for weight loss with so many meds in your system. All the AMA recommends for pregnancy is an extra 300 calories a day and light exercise (yoga, walking-when oked by your RE/OB). Be kind to yourself and Go polkadot!