I went to see my shrink today. I haven't seen her lately just because of my travel schedule. My shrink is amazing, lovely and loving and I owe my present day self to her guidance. However, my session this morning took me by surprise.
Here's what happened.
She hugs me, not unusual these days since I am forever going in there with teary tales of woe. She says over Thanksgiving she went through her list of folks and thought about why she was thankful for them. She launched into this whole thing about how much she enjoys working with me, how brave she thinks I am, how heroic, how I have learnt to trust and love and want and laugh. How when I met her I was so sad, lonely and hurt. She said she admires me.
It was so wild I burst into tears. I was so shocked. I didn't even think she liked me!!!
She has a point though. The journey we have been on together has been wild and long and unexpected but has come out a pretty cool place. When I met her I was a very damaged adult/child. I wouldn't let anyone near me and I was afraid of everything.
It made me think of this baby making ordeal. I assumed it would be straight forward and its not. I assumed it would be OK and it isn't. Yet I am more because of it, not less. And the blogs, wow, you guys are spectacular. Each voice brings something, each person strives to connect and support.
I wouldn't have missed this for the world.