Friday, December 4, 2009

Funny thing happened on the way to mental health ...

I went to see my shrink today. I haven't seen her lately just because of my travel schedule. My shrink is amazing, lovely and loving and I owe my present day self to her guidance. However, my session this morning took me by surprise.

Here's what happened.

She hugs me, not unusual these days since I am forever going in there with teary tales of woe. She says over Thanksgiving she went through her list of folks and thought about why she was thankful for them. She launched into this whole thing about how much she enjoys working with me, how brave she thinks I am, how heroic, how I have learnt to trust and love and want and laugh. How when I met her I was so sad, lonely and hurt. She said she admires me.

It was so wild I burst into tears. I was so shocked. I didn't even think she liked me!!!

She has a point though. The journey we have been on together has been wild and long and unexpected but has come out a pretty cool place. When I met her I was a very damaged adult/child. I wouldn't let anyone near me and I was afraid of everything.

It made me think of this baby making ordeal. I assumed it would be straight forward and its not. I assumed it would be OK and it isn't. Yet I am more because of it, not less. And the blogs, wow, you guys are spectacular. Each voice brings something, each person strives to connect and support.

I wouldn't have missed this for the world.


  1. How nice of her to acknowledge and validate everything you've been through and how far you've come! I didn't know you "before" or precisely what brought you to her doorstep, but from where I stand, and from comments I have seen you leave on other blogs, I think you are one hell of an amazing woman. You are able to find balance - through humor, through venting, through reasoning - and I often wonder where your strength possibly comes from. So kudos to you for arriving HERE, this point in your life, where you give so much to so many (me included).

  2. I love a shrink that can actually make one feel better! And not just with drugs either! She sounds so evolved and awesome - kind of a mirror of you. I am glad you are not that hurt frightened person anymore! You are seriously one cool duck !

  3. What a wonderful thing for your doctor to do, and you are a strong and extraordinary person to keep taking steps down this difficult and treacherous path with dignity and grace. I'm so glad that you write and we can share and support a little.