Monday, March 1, 2010


I am tired today. Ohh ya. Got up for my 845am doctors appointment only to be told its next week -doh! I wonder if I am not eating enough or taking enough vitamins or something. Tired, hair falling out and had an enormo zit this morning out of nowhere! I have started taking an iron supplement coz anemia runs in my family. Anyone else feel/felt like this?

I have had a few moments of 'donor realisation'. I see women with babies that are clearly made from their genetic pool and it hits me that our little ones are not. It gives me pause but doesn't make me sad. I know I shall love them and go all gushy over them. But still. I think, what of me would they have manifest?
To be honest, they are still somewhat unreal in there. I know I'm preggers but its only when I see them that I get all 'mommabear' like. The rest of the time its a low level anxiety and low level awareness. And an aching need for coffee injected directly into a main artery.

Last night, coz I was so tired, Dh agreed to watch English TV on the bed. We cuddle up and he starts to stroke my hair. I fell asleep and snored through the whole murder mystery!!!!


  1. Sounds like your thyroid is acting up. Have them check it out asap. I lost a pregnancy because mine was too high. It should be below 1 if you are trying to get pregnant from what my doc said. I've had really good success with the compounded natural desicated thyroid. Not so much luck with the synthetic stuff.

  2. I am completely and utterly exhausted and "pregnancy brain" hit with full force in the second tri - I could not remember shite and had a hard time keeping everything straight...I am a type A control freak so that was really, really hard for me!

    We used DS - I cannot pretend to know how you feel - but we also explore how we feel about the fact that there is no genetic connection to my husband - 99% of the time we feel just that - only a genetic connection and that my husband is going to be a bigger part of them than just genes. Also, we really feel that these children were meant to be ours - for whatever reason - two pregnancies from our stuff failed and one from a different donor failed - but not these - these were meant to be our children.

  3. Maybe you should be eating more...or maybe those two little jumping beans are just making use of whatever energy you have. Every day is a new experience! I know what you mean about pause to consider the fact that our babies' DNA is not our DNA. I guess there will always be a lingering "what if" - which is fine and I think is perfectly normal. It doesn't mean we won't love THESE babies any less. And in some ways, I feel like this baby boy of mine is EXTRA special (as are your beans): billions of people have sex and make babies. But for us, there was great orchestration, a coming together of THIS cycle, THIS donor, these particular eggs (and for me, particular sperm), a doctor's hand, and a real miracle! How lucky are we?!!!!!