A colleague (not someone I know very well but who helped me when I really needed help getting over a miscarriage) lost her little daughter this week.
I was thinking there must be something I could do more than just send flowers. Does anyone have any ideas?
When our daughter was stillborn, a friend gave me a small gold baby ring on a chain to wear in her memory. It had her name engraved on the inside. It was simple and easily ignored by other people, but I felt as if I was holding her memory close.
ReplyDeleteOMG what a horrible thing. I have never suffered such a terrible loss. I'd guess (from my IF experience) that if you aren't sure what to say, just being there and available to talk would be good. And letting her talk about the child. Please add my hugs in with yours.
ReplyDeleteHow awful. I'm sure she will be in shock for quite a while, but I like the idea offered by aka the mom: a little keepsake with her daughter's name on it. Perhaps tucked into a sympathy card. And of course, the offer to be there if and when she needs to talk.
ReplyDeleteWhen I lost Kara, a good friend of mine gave me a necklace with Kara's name on the back. It was an Elsa Peretti design (Tiffany) of the Madonna & Child, in a modern art form (we are both catholic). I wear the pendant and know that she's close to my heart. One other thing, I cherish those friends that were there for me, calling and checking in on me. Those that 'gave me my space' I felt abandoned by. Most people don't know what to say, because there really is nothing appropriate to say. Just listen and reach out to her. There will be days when she feels like ripping off her skin and crawling into the grave herself. I can't describe the horror of baby loss. I'm sorry to hear of another babyloss mama joining the ranks.
ReplyDeleteI've also heard that some people really appreciate the support both now and in later months to come. I think that many people expect them to be over things in a few months so lending an ear now and six months from now too may be a extra comfort. Even if it is over the phone.
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