Thursday, November 19, 2009

nearing the next time

I met some close colleagues in SF for a quick drink before yet another diner. Within moments we were discussing TTC, IVF, DE, and I had no idea they were trying! I thought - wherever you go there we are!!

So here we are. Back in NY and nearing the end of the mock cycle. It all feels a bit unreal, a bit distant from me. This time next month we will be nearing transfer. I hope it's as uninvolved as the mock. That would rock! I need to get my head in the game a bit though. I am eating too many carbs and way too much sugar, too much coffee and too little sleep. I am soooo off the weight watchers discipline. That has to change. I will not gain weight. I may do a cleanse tomorrow.
I feel stuck. My weight is stuck, I'm on the round about again - mocks, cycles, doctors and I can't see the end. I am having sharp pains in my left side - cramps but sharp - ovulation? I guess. I want to move off the round about, want to go forward but don't believe I will at the moment. Must remember- December 31st is the last day of TTC.

Elizabeth- thinking of you and Will. I hope all is stable and you both get to come home really soon. All my love to you and yours.
EB

3 comments:

  1. I soooo hear you on the sugar and carbs thing...lately I don't know WHY but I've been eating WHITE bread and drinking orange pekoe tea with organic cane sugar and milk in it - sometimes I just get so fricking TIRED of being so good all the time and resentful of the fact that other people are eating and drinking whatever they like and having litters of kids. And tired of the clinic and cycling and all of it. Yep. Me too me too. Hopefully once we get going, momentum will take over, right?

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  2. Glad you're home safely. You'll be off the round about soon since the next month will fly by, particularly with the holidays stuffed in there. And then with any luck, you can spend much of next year tending to your pregnancy. Please let me know when you'll be back out my way - things were just pretty upside down for me this week.

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  3. it IS so frustrating -- eliminating foods we like (or need in the case of caffeine) and then just hoping and waiting, all while depriving ourselves. But I'm super impressed that you are finding the will to keep on. And I like the idea of the cleanse -- I find them good for kickstarting healthy eating... plus I love the lunchboxes that they deliver the juice in!

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