Decided against the cleanse - the first shake tasted like crap!! So I had a healthy three cups of coffee (blue door coffee from SF) and will grab some lunch at some time today.
Feeling much more chipper today after a good nights sleep. Amazing what sleep deprivation does to me. I am such a sensitive soul. I weighed myself this am and i have only gained one pounds which can be easily lost with some long walks and good choices. I decided to give myself a break till the end of the year. maintain where I am, not gain and then when January comes around I can see what's what.
I get sudden bursts of excitement about the DE cycle. Something has changed, for sure. It's like I realized that this time around the percentage of chance is much lower (for no reason I can determine, but there you go) so it's like "hey, what the hell, give it a go". Last time I was so determined to be successful. Laughable in its arrogance. Oh well. I suffered the punishment of that arrogance that's for sure. I also keep thinking, somewhere out there a teenager is shagging her boyfriend standing on one leg (coz that means you don't get preggers right?) and they are making my little one. My little one is being created right now and they know I am coming for them. We know we are meant to be together. When they look at me, they will sense my heart is theirs. When I look at them, my heart will start beating for the first time.
I watched a documentary on the plane. SOLO. It was about this chap, And.rew M.cAuley, an extreme adventurer who attempted to kayak across the stretch of water between Australia and New Zealand. To put it in some perspective the trip took about 30 days and there were NO other vessels out there coz the ocean is too rough. Too rough for those enormous tracking ships or navy vessels. He was advised by the coast guard and everyone he knew not to do it for the sake of his wife and son.
Andrew was lost at sea within sight of the New Zealand coast. He most probably died from hypothermia/drowning due to exhaustion when his Kayak capsized.
His best friend, another adventurer, explained that this need ... to cross the water, to conquer the challenge, to undergo the extreme adventure was not adventuring but a weakness. it was a weakness because he put his own life before his family.
Thought that was interesting.