Sunday, November 29, 2009

glorious day ...

... seriously, glorious outside. It's sunny and cold. My absolute favourite time of year. I am sipping, OK gulping, Blue Door coffee that I got in San Francisco last week (its so good but I have to go cold turkey some time soon) with a cat purring and pushing her soft as silk self against my bloated belly (thanks Estrace!). I love this.

Anyway, I digress. Off I go. Back to San Fransisco. Before we canceled the Vermont trip I had 35 hours of travel this week. Now I have 25 hours. So since I have such a glut of free time this week, I asked the conductor at choir if I could be part of the big Christmas concert next Friday and Sat. He has a very strict rule that if you miss more than 3 rehearsals - your out. Well, I ducked out of rehearsals coz of the Vermont trip and thought I had no chance. But...he agreed. I get to sing. I am frikkin delighted!!! I fly back Tuesday afternoon and go to a rehearsal then dress rehearsal on Thursday and then perform Friday and Sat. I love the Christmas concert. I love the 1000+ people in the 1800C church on Broadway. I love the Saturday fun after the concert with everyone giddy and pleased with themselves.

I have decided to experience the concert as a personal celebration. It is my celebration of a year well survived. At the beginning of the year of IVF we had decided to do one round and then on to adoption. hahahahahahaha. Yeah, ok that didn't quite plan out. This year has been emotionally and physically hard. Yet. At the end of it I am more in love with my Dh than before, we have rediscovered intimacy after we lost it to 'babymaking', I have found that I can lose weight even when I am faced with hormone mayhem and emotional devastation.
Most of all, you guys. I have experienced profound support from complete strangers. You guys, that have gone through much more than I, more deeper despair and grief, much more daily challenges and yet you are always there. You taught me how to be generous and proud, how to hold on and help others.

So, on Friday at 8pm and Sunday at 3pm, I shall be singing in praise of you guys. The most generous and kind women I have ever had the honour to be guided and supported by.


  1. I love the thought of you celebrating your year with the concert. You have had a tough but extremely formative year, and reconnecting with DH and intimacy is a wonderful thing. I am so glad that you will have the time to be able to participate! ((hugs))

  2. What a beautiful post! I am now curious about what church you go to! It must be spectacular if you have an audience of 1000 people! Sounds great. I love the idea that you are celebrating for yourself and all of us at this concert. What will you be all singing? So many questions! Good luck with the cold turkey coffee thingie. If it helps I started with half caf lattes and then just got onto whole caf lattes and I drink decaf drip at home ( have for years). I think the incremental thing works well unless you really can't stand the taste of decaf. You have to get the best decaf though - otherwise it's icky!

  3. Oh, I so want to come hear you sing. The concert sounds wonderful! Congrats on getting to take part and enjoy your celebration!

  4. Wow, what a sweet post! I am so glad you feel happy and optimistic and can reflect on the year and feel good about it. And it's exciting that you'll get to sing - you just sing your heart out! I hope the holidays fill you with warmth and joy and hope and the feeling that magic is about to happen!