... seriously, glorious outside. It's sunny and cold. My absolute favourite time of year. I am sipping, OK gulping, Blue Door coffee that I got in San Francisco last week (its so good but I have to go cold turkey some time soon) with a cat purring and pushing her soft as silk self against my bloated belly (thanks Estrace!). I love this.
Anyway, I digress. Off I go. Back to San Fransisco. Before we canceled the Vermont trip I had 35 hours of travel this week. Now I have 25 hours. So since I have such a glut of free time this week, I asked the conductor at choir if I could be part of the big Christmas concert next Friday and Sat. He has a very strict rule that if you miss more than 3 rehearsals - your out. Well, I ducked out of rehearsals coz of the Vermont trip and thought I had no chance. But...he agreed. I get to sing. I am frikkin delighted!!! I fly back Tuesday afternoon and go to a rehearsal then dress rehearsal on Thursday and then perform Friday and Sat. I love the Christmas concert. I love the 1000+ people in the 1800C church on Broadway. I love the Saturday fun after the concert with everyone giddy and pleased with themselves.
I have decided to experience the concert as a personal celebration. It is my celebration of a year well survived. At the beginning of the year of IVF we had decided to do one round and then on to adoption. hahahahahahaha. Yeah, ok that didn't quite plan out. This year has been emotionally and physically hard. Yet. At the end of it I am more in love with my Dh than before, we have rediscovered intimacy after we lost it to 'babymaking', I have found that I can lose weight even when I am faced with hormone mayhem and emotional devastation.
Most of all, you guys. I have experienced profound support from complete strangers. You guys, that have gone through much more than I, more deeper despair and grief, much more daily challenges and yet you are always there. You taught me how to be generous and proud, how to hold on and help others.
So, on Friday at 8pm and Sunday at 3pm, I shall be singing in praise of you guys. The most generous and kind women I have ever had the honour to be guided and supported by.