We are under 100 days!!! Oh wow!! 99 days to go - and that's until 40 weeks so what is it really? Oh who cares, its under 100.
Thank you for talking me off the ledge yesterday. After a good nights sleep I am less convinced I managed to kill my little monkeys with two sips of vodka! I haven't seen then for a week and I am extremely happy to be going to see Dr K tomorrow. I may even hire a doppler. I promised myself I wouldn't since I want to try and relax and trust the whole process. Mmmn, maybe I am not as over my little episode as I thought. Maybe I am really worried that I won't get to keep my monkeys - yes, thats is the real worry. The IF curse.
Here is what I shall do to get back to my zen of gestation. I shall hold off on the doppler, I shall start trying to meditate again (my mind is like cats on speed) and I shall download the second season of T.rue B.lood and I shall try to RELAX. Feet up, water by my side, furry purries sleeping close by. And keep on growing my little monkeys. I shall embrace and thank who ever, what ever is keeping these little one's growing and I shall push all my IF thinking into a little box and lock it tight.
Yeah. Sounds like a plan.