Easy way out

I'm thinking, considering, perhapping about something. It's something that I would never in a million years have contemplated a few years ago.

I am thinking about having plastic surgery.

After the c-section, my abdomen is a bit f*cked up. Since the scar opened so much and had to heal from the inside out it has caused an even worse protrusion than just being a fat ass. I have a really odd shaped belly. Unless I wear long tops, the bulging is visible and it is quite ugly. The doctor told me that it would never go back to normal but that I could reduce the effect by losing lots of weight.

Now, here's the thing. I'm considering surgery because I heard about this new procedure that is not a tummy tuck (where muscles get cut etc) which always seemed so extreme to me. Its like super aggressive liposuction. The effects are amazing and some (very few) of the costs are covered by my insurance. Most of the costs are not.

Ready for this. It will cost about $10K out of pocket. Do I have that money? No. Would I have to put it on a credit card? yes. Do I think its worth it?  outside voice "hell no, I shall exercise and eat right ..." inside voice "YES" Fast result and I would feel confident in my body again.

But then I think ... who am I?? What am I thinking? Plastic Surgery? $10K??

Dilemma.

PMS & kids

I have PMS. The screaming crazies. And I have baby twins. It is not a very good mix! However, this afternoon when Mimi wouldn't sleep I carried her to the rocking chair and as soon as I had sat down she sort of snook her legs under her but, lay her head on my shoulder and fell so deeply asleep. Oh man, is there anything better. It made a crappy week fade into insignificance.

I have to be nicer to my DH. When I have PMS I am such a cow to him. He gives me lots of opportunity, don't get me wrong, but he is trying. He cleaned the bottles last night WITHOUT ME ASKING HIM TO!!!!

Question of opinion.
When my friend told crazy Dr J that she didn't want to be treated (due to the argument she had over finances with her practice) they billed her credit card $4K without notifying her. Does she have any grounds for contesting??

Bloody Kids

I got about 2 hours of sleep last night. Mimi woke up at 12am and started screaming. I passied her, patted her, changed her position and nothing worked.
I picked her up, changed her nappy and noticed she was hot. The temperature in the apartment was 1000 degrees so I stripped her, cooled her with wet flannels and gave her some milk.
She slept.
For about 2 hours.
When she awoke she starting crying again and she was in no way going back to sleep thank you very much. 'Get me up, mamma' she yelled.
You can imagine the sleep training trauma I was in.
Soon Pip woke up and needed his medicine (for acid stomach) and there we have it. My crappy night of sleep.

Thankfully we had a bad snow storm yesterday so I told work that my nanny couldn't make it before midday (total lie)  so I would work from home. The moment she came through the door (at 9) I was in bed!! I am always totally grateful we can afford a nanny (who make killer meatballs and a fennel salad coz she noticed I looked tired)

On another but related note. Weight loss.  I am not getting rid of the weight. I am not working out (even when I have the chance) and I am eating too much. I don't eat crap but just too much. I am getting depressed about my body, starting to hate the bulging and bumps. The mound of arse is just disgusting. I go to weight watchers but  I haven't weighed in for weeks. What is up with me? I know what I must do, how to do it, why I ought to do it etc. Why, then,  am I not doing it???

back by popular demand...

Mimi at 5 months

Pip at 5 months

I just adore the cheeks, the hands, the ears, the noses ... oh everything. I just adore everything. 

Delurk-a-paloozi

A few blogs I follow have asked folks to delurk and write a little about where they are, how long they been reading and something else about themselves. 

I love this idea. It would be wonderful to see who lives the furthest away from NYC and why you read this  nonsense. 

So, bloggie friends - DELURK! DELURK! DELURK! 

Sleep training ....Doh!

My ma gave some great advice when I was pregnant and worried about not knowing what to do with the kids. She said "Trust your kids. In the beginning, before we screw you up, kids are great teachers"

At least she's honest, about the screwing up bit I mean.

Anyway, I digress. Last night Mimi started her circus tumbling act again. Coincidentally it was whilst I was reading online assvice about how to deal with the rolling issue.  I turned her, stuck the passie in and went back to bed. A few moments later she started screaming. Seems she was frustrated with her idiot mum. I went back in, popped the passie in but didn't turn her and let her lay there. "You have to do this yourself, sweetie" I mumbled. She giggled and rolled on her side against the crib wall (which by the way is totally cute, the little bum leading half roll)

I went back to bed expecting fireworks.

Nothing.

Was that noise?? No. What about that?? no.

I fell asleep. So did Mimi. She wanted me to know she prefers sleeping on her side!

She slept until 4am when the cold woke her up. I wrapped her in a blanket, sat in the rocking chair and gave her some warm milk. She deserved a thank you!

I just put her down for her nap on her side and viola! asleep in seconds.

Thanks Mimi. Sorry I am such a slow learner. I shall try harder next time.

Firsts

I did get some sleep,  I slept in till 9.30am (OK,  I went to bed at 6am but that is 3.30 hours uninterrupted)! Pip is sleeping through the night and Mimi is still rolling. ANY ideas most welcome. She rolls over and freaks out. If I pop in her passie and roll her onto her front then she returns to sleep almost at once. However she's rolling over about 5 times a night.

OK, onto .... Our Firsts.
Class: We went to our very first music class and it was amazing. I loved it. We played and danced and made music together. Pip was smiling and totally into it until near the end when he fell asleep in my arms. Mimi wanted to be with the big kids so much. She gazed longingly over to the big girls messing about in the corner. As usual they were both very smiley and sweet. I swear Pip flirted with the teacher!!

Ergo success. Until now, ergo has been a no-no with my kids. Today I finally got Pip to accept riding along in it. It was glorious. We went in a taxi downtown and shopped, walked and shopped some more. I felt so free and happy just trundling around with my kiddo. DH and daughter stayed behind because her sleep schedule is totally freakin' messed up! Pip fell asleep pretty soon into our adventure which gave me hope for our trip in April across the pond.

Going along with the ergo trip is the fact that we separated the kids for the first time. So far, they have spent every waking moment in each other's company. I bet they both enjoyed the break.

Today finished off with a bath, bottle, book (Chicken Licken original version) and then bed. I love rocking in this huge chair with two warm, clean and sleepy bundles listening to their nighttime story. For the first time, they both gave me the 'time to go to bed sign' at the same time (eye rubbing, ear pulling).

It rocks being a mum.

Too tired to sleep

I finally fell asleep in a meeting today. I have been threatening to do this but have managed to hold off the actual offense until today. It was a bone numbingly boring meeting and I just couldn't do it. I started by nodding out. You know the one. The nod and scoop. Did I stop there? Ohhh no. I could not keep my eyes open and I think at one point I may have been snoring.

However, come tonight I will lay in bed and wonder why I can't sleep just like the rest of the week. I get to bed around 10 and lay awake till midnight. Then at 2am Mimi will yell for me and again at 4. At 5.45 Pip will be screaming needing his medicine. Unless they both sleep thru the night I will wake up in a panic at 5am and run into their room!

I am so frikkin tired. So bone tired. I asked DH to let me sleep in. He protested ("I can't ... two kids ...etc ). I hope he girds his loins coz tomorrow .... I am sleeping in. 

And as if by magic...

...the little ones slept through the night - not a peep from 5pm to 6am. Both of them. Yeeeeeha!! I had 5 hours sleep straight (now if I can only train my cat to sleep thru the night).  I'm much less cranky since I have had some sleep. I feel much better about the phone thing and so many other things.

Big news - we tried Mimi on rice mush today.  She loves it,  although her ability to swallow is somewhat in question.  I was so emotional sitting there with the little spoon and the bowl, Mimi totally into the food and grinning like a charmer. Of course, now I am panicking about this new addition to navigate. We'll only give her the mush once a day and she's not really eating much, maybe a teaspoon full but still, change just when I was comfortable with where we were.

Oh I am so sleepy right now. It's cold and rainy outside. I am working on my bed to give the nanny some her space (I hated it when the folks I babysat for hung around) and all I want to do is snuggle down and sleep. Ah screw it - goodnight folks!!

Still tired and cranky

Kids are sleeping better but still waking up and crying.  WTF? I thought we'd been through this?

Anyhow, the phone issue is somewhat resolved. I asked if our number had been given out and yes, it was given out as a work number. Since it's the normal over here I wondered why we weren't asked first since that would seem like good manners. I asked for a list of companies our number is now listed with. Interestingly enough for the first time in about a year,  my credit rating has changed. Not sure why. It freaked out my financial planner enough for her to call me.

It's not that I'm just being a control freak - which I am - but that I am too damn tired to deal with any fall out from mistakes.

My 9am meeting got cancelled and instead of heading in to the office I am heading back to bed!! Lets hope I wake up less cranky.

Cranky and annoyed

After a day trip to San Francisco from New York for work and no sleep for two nights due to  babies that seem to regressing on the night sleep thing I am a little cranky today.
Not helped by the fact that I just answered the phone and it was for our nanny. Giving my phone number out to family I understand but this was a call from what a bank or something (they said it was an "urgent matter"). I am so annoyed. Why do people always have to take the piss. I am very good employer. I make every effort to be respectful -  financially, socially and personally. I made it clear that this is more than a baby sitting gig and it reimbursed accordingly. I clearly need to cool off before speaking with her.

How best to approach this? What would you do?

Morning Bliss

This morning Pip & Mimi woke up early. Partly this was due to Mimi's Circ.que de So.leil routine she performs in her crib and partly because I think yesterday was a little messed up. Anyhoo...

We were all up by 6am, fed, bathed and plonked in front of Baby Einstein TV (yes, I babysit my kids with the electronic beast - do stop interrupting) when I noticed they were very content. Pip laughs a lot at the kids in the DVD and bounces in rhythm which I adore. Mimi kind of glazes over and starts nodding out.
I was on the couch with a lovely cup of very expensive Jamaican Blue coffee and outside it was really quiet and white (big snow fall).  I was so frikkin' content I was almost purring.

The natives only get 10 - 15 mins of TV so I turned their chairs to face each other and we played make each other laugh games,  all while I happily sipped my sweet, smooth nectar of the mountain. There is something impossible to describe about how I feel when we play the make each other laugh game. Two small babies cracking each other up is just .... bliss. Mimi opens her mouth in the biggest smile possible and chuckles while Pip grins a humongous smile and giggles hysterically.

Here's my thought for the day. Never, ever name your kid after an emotion. I know three people unlucky to have names dictate their lives...
Happy .... miserable fecker that moaned at me for over an hour today
Hope - despair follows in her wake like a cloak and I had to clean up her mess with clients today
Joy - I do not know if she has the ability to smile.

All three suck. And I am going home early to play 'lets laugh' with my kids.

All thru the night

Yes, we made it. 5 months (almost) and both the kids slept through the night from 5pm to 6am. OK, there was one little wake up after Mimi threw herself at top speed from one side of the crib to the other, bum first! Apart from that, they were quiet all night.  To be honest, they could have cried and I didn't wake up (yes, I know, not a strong candidate for  Mother of the Year). How do I think this? Well, the cat puked on the bed and I didn't hear that so...!

They are both very happy little ones this morning so I think they survived my mistreatment for another night.

I'm still under the weather although not really sick, sick, if you know what I mean. The wonderful thing is I get to rest today since the nanny is here. Total luxury but ohhhhh I am so enjoying myself. On the bed, two sleepy cats, radio and newspapers and I may even push it and get a cup of tea. BLISS!!
The odd thing is, ever since getting sick I smell baby poo everywhere. Yeah. Really not nice. I feel like that little actor dude "I see dead people" only in my film it would be "I smell poo,  people!"

sick

I am sick with a stomach bug and would really appreciate it if the kids could stop pooing for a while. Changing diapers when you are feeling queasy is not so much fun.

I was worse yesterday and spent most of the day really furious at DH because as per is the norm, he did nothing for me or the kids. So I struggled through the night and morning and at lunch time just went to bed. He was better in the afternoon. What is it about guys and that insane lack of empathy. Anyhow, he phoned today to see if I was doing better. I am, but I am still sick which make looking after Mimi and Pip a bit physically demanding. Luckily we are at the near the end of the day. One more feed, bath book and good night my lovelies.
For some reason Pip was up every two hours last night, screaming his heart out. I think he had stomach ache also. Lets pray for a quiet night tonight.

I am so not going to work tomorrow. I am staying in my bed, with the radio on low and a big bottle of ginger ale.

Mission impossible

For two adults and two infants it will cost $3500.00 to Manchester UK. That is the cheapest direct flight I can get. Totally, and utterly disgusted with the airline industry. We have to buy car seats and the pushywheely thing that goes with it but thats not too expensive coz the kids have to be in car seats ... in their own seats!

However, the hotel cut us a great deal. We got an adjoining room for free. Big happy all round.

And the good fortune continues. My mother happens to live next to two .. TWO .. families with twins. They both offered to lend us anything we want. All we have to bring are the car seats and the kids. JOY UNBOUNDED

Mission impossible just got more possible.

first flight ....HELP ME!!!

WE are booking a trip to the UK. It will be in April and it will be a freakin' nightmare. Yes, I have a great attitude going into this, clearly.

First of all my kids couldn't get to New Jersey without a total meltdown so an international flight should be interesting. With the time zone issues we will be off our schedule by 6 hours.

Secondly my folks live in the middle of nowhere and the nearest motel is a rather shabby affair (however it is on the boarder of a little market town). We do have the option of staying at a service station motorway motel that was just built for the truckers. Ah the choices.

And finally, I am used to traveling with one bag for an indeterminate amount of time. What in the world are we going to have to schlep for a two week vacation (and I use that term lightly) in the UK?

Here is my list so far

Sent ahead of time:

•  pack and play
•  two single strollers
• clothing 
• poop supplies
• eating supplies

With us:

•  two car seats with converter handle thing
• two ergo carriers
• ready to eat formula (can we take that thru security ??)
• teddies, blankets and binkies (many, many binkies)
• Toys - disposable non noise making but light flashing ones
• clothing changes x6
• Tylenol for kids
• mylcon 
• zantax for kids
• benedryl for kids
• pain killers and anti-anxiety drugs for me. 

Help me!! I need some sage advice in order to prepare for this trip. What should I do to prepare, what should I take, what should i get there or order my folks to get ;-)

first class

I just signed Mr P and Miss A up for their first class. I am so beside myself with excitement. A music class (naturally) on a Friday morning. I shall tell my work that I have a series of medical treatment (music is therapy after all) so I can go to the classes.  I am so excited to see them with other kids.

Any advice for a new class mommie????

Thru the night

Mr Pip slept through the night from 7pm to 5.30am. What a star. Madam Mimi had some trapped turtle action at 4am but still - I got 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  That means that even tho it rained we went out and enjoyed a long Sunday walk. It also means they are napping nicely and I got the washing done, the tree down, the kids room cleared up, the banking done and appointments made for the upcoming month.

Whooohooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!


I have an odd question.  I hear them crying even when they aren't crying. What is going on? I am out walking and I think I hear the one in the back crying or  laying in bed and listening to music and I have to take my earphones off coz I am sure I hear them.

Very odd. Happen to you?

Twin sleep training update

They are four and a half months old. Their last feed is around 6-7pm. They have been napping from 4 - 6pm but it looks like they are getting earlier in their naps - 7am-9am, 11am- 1pm, 2pm-3pm and then grouchy little buggers until 6pm. So far they wake up if they lose the damn binky or if they have maneuvered their way into a crib corner and can't get out. I like to call this turtle alert!  Mimi can roll so I leave her to work it out. Pip, not so much yet so I help him by setting him back at the start line again - opposite corner of the crib. They haven't really needed to cry it out so far. Don't get me wrong - there are tears and screaming - but it lasts a few moments. We stick to our routine and it seems to work.

Supremo important part of routine: bath, bottle, book and bed at 6 - 7pm.  This is one of my favourite things in the world. DH reads and usually interjects his own brand of humor. We read from Ladybird books - the originals - which are somewhat macabre if truth be told. The hero usually gets either eaten or kills some kind of foe in a brutal way. Hey! we live in NYC, gotta toughen these kids up for playschool.

Ah play school. I think you guys call it pre school. I call it exorbitant. HOWMUCH!!!!  I am hoping they learn from master musicians at this 6 month old music and movement class for that amount of money.

Ahh the witching hour has begun. I hear ya babies - hard not to when you are blowing a gasket!!