I'm in the middle of trying to hire the various people we need to get through this whole "we're having twins" thing. I mentioned before that we will be starting off with a night nanny and transitioning to a regular nanny nearer the time I go back to work.
Well, it's hell. I hate interviewing people at the best of times but damn, these chicks are something. I spent four days tracking down someone's references only for her to tell me at the last minute that she works with her sister and is it OK if they tag team. NO HELL NO ITS NOT OK!!
I am seriously thinking about biting the bullet and going with an agency. They charge $250 for the application and placement fee which I think is a total freakin' rip off, the nanny's are more expensive but they are qualified, screened and trained and there is an agency to scream at if anything goes wrong.
At least we're fortunate enough to be able to have a night nurse and I should stop being a whiney pain in the arse but damn it chaps my cheeks when people lie and cheat, it brings out the worst in me.
All that and a tired, emotional-for-no-reason weekend. I think I scared myself reading about c-sections! There is a ton of crap and out of date info out there. They do not, for instance, cut through your stomach muscles. The move them, these days, coz they can. Seriously folks - how painful is is? what do you feel like afterwards (in the recovery room) and what about the day afterward? What words of wisdom can you give this poor demented mum-to-be.
Ugh--hiring hell is right! Hang in there, you'll find someone. :)
ReplyDeleteIt all depends on your pain tolerance. Turns out I have decent pain tolerance, and I have had three C-sections. The first one, for me, was the hardest, but I think that was part in fact because I had no point of reference (1st surgery ever) and because I had a horrible cough, which doesn't feel good after a C-section. The subsequent ones were easier to manage, pain-wise, and I didn't use prescription painkillers after Day 3. That, to me, isn't half bad. Of course, that's just me.......and I don't want to make it seem like it was a walk in the park, but it also turned out not to be the big scary massacre that some make it out to be. I'd still have chosen not to have major surgery to extract my babies out, but since that's the way it had to be, it wasn't unbearable, intolerable, etc. It does sometimes get you out of early diaper duty.....which is fun to watch as a spectator if your husband gets the honor. -Carrie
ReplyDeleteThe nanny interview process sounds awful. As another option, you could contact the hospital nurseries and post-partum wards and ask if any of the nurses moonlight on their nights off. You might be able to build a team of 3 or 4 nurses, which would also be good for sick-call coverage.
ReplyDeleteNow don't fret so much about the C-section. Yes, they part the muscles rather than cut them. I was asking to get out of bed to walk to the bathroom a couple of hours after my section (they wouldn't let me). You'll be on round-the-clock pain meds and if you just move slowly, it won't be a big deal. What DOES hurt (just to be honest) is the 3 or 4 times the nurses check to be sure your uterus is contracting back down. They push into your belly to feel the top of the uterus. Just tell them to premedicate you a half hour before they do it. They only do it a few times so it's not horrible.
My c-section was a breeze. I was up and down the stairs from the second I got home (2 days later). I had had abdominal surgery before so I don't know if that had anything to do with it, but my recovery was easy. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteEB - I would pay the $250 agency fee. It sounds worth it for all the shit you have to put up with in screening them all yourself.
ReplyDeleteAs for the c-section - I was under general anesthesia when I delivered Kara because i was out of my mind with the thought of delivering a dead baby. I just couldn't cope. However, I woke quickly and the pain was mild because of the pain relievers. I am NOT getting Morphine this time beause I wanted to rip my skin off for 3 days afterwards, but I was up and walking within 24 hours and really getting around the house normally (if a bit slower) when I got home. The only problem I remember is not being able to lay on my bed without TONS of pillows propping me up because laying flat put stress on my stomach. I am more afraid of the 'experience' of laying there awake while being cut open. The pain afterwards I found tolerable.
I've had a vaginal birth with a 4th degree tear, a planned c-section (breech baby), and an unplanned c-section. The best recovery hands down was the unplanned c-section. I went home the next day. I do love me some percocet, but hey, they prescribed it. I was in Target on day 5 (with husb driving). I think it really just depends. The tear on my vag birth was horrible. The planned c/s wasn't great either b/c my epidural pump battery was dead (gawd I wanted to sue the frickin hospital!). But the c/s that went as c/s should was just fine.
ReplyDeleteAs for the nanny search: I absolutely would go with the $250 agency service. Think of your sanity. How much is it worth?
I've had a vaginal birth with a 4th degree tear, a planned c-section (breech baby), and an unplanned c-section. The best recovery hands down was the unplanned c-section. I went home the next day. I do love me some percocet, but hey, they prescribed it. I was in Target on day 5 (with husb driving). I think it really just depends. The tear on my vag birth was horrible. The planned c/s wasn't great either b/c my epidural pump battery was dead (gawd I wanted to sue the frickin hospital!). But the c/s that went as c/s should was just fine.
ReplyDeleteAs for the nanny search: I absolutely would go with the $250 agency service. Think of your sanity. How much is it worth?
Hi EB -- I would pay the money and get the service with the best customer service you can find. You have a demanding job, it sounds like you need to outsource this. I know from dealing with Will's health care stuff (which is not the same, of course, but similar) and from just trying to hire yard/house workers that fielding all these calls and call-backs and keeping track of who is who not to mention checking references it can be a full time job on it's own.
ReplyDeleteOn the c-section, I had one (Liam was breech) and I didn't have any trouble. I was super nervous because I've never been in the hospital much or had surgery (at least, as an adult) and I was really afraid of the epidural process, and teary when they put in the IV for pete's sake, but it all went fine. I honestly never really had any much pain; and I didn't need the pain killers after the second day. They let me see Liam right away and nurse him while I was still in the recovery room; I was home the end of the next day (so only one night in the hospital) and up and driving (which one is not supposed to do, but I didn't read that part of the discharge instructions and no one told me)within another few days. I think having an underlying level of fitness really helped and you're kick-ass fit from all your walking and swimming, so you should be fine just fine. It is so exciting that you're really getting close now!
With love,
Elizabeth
I had a great C experience.
ReplyDeleteThe scariest thing for me was going into the operating room alone (they don't allow DH in until your spinal block / epidural is set). It's bright lights and 4/5 people poking around at you, attaching things and getting you ready. Just a little overwhelming.
They did a spinal block instead of an epidural, so there was one pinch, then they laid me down. They keep poking at your belly and ask if you can feel it. I was scared I wouldn't get numb, but sure enough I did. Then I felt better once DH was let in.
The procedure does not hurt at all. You feel pulling and tugging, but no pain.
After, I was in the recovery room for about an hour and a half, under a warming blanket, while they raised my temp. No pain.
Then they brought me to the post-partum room, started the percoset, and gave me my daughter as soon as she was done in the nursery being cleaned and warmed (about 2 hours after she was born). I nursed her right away, held her, had visitors. No pain.
I was told to get in front of the pain by always taking the pain meds on time, even if you are feeling nothing. If you delay, and start to feel pain, it's harder to get under control. The tricky thing is you have to ask for the meds at the hospital, they don't just automatically give them to you at the right time. I was sure to ask every time in advanced so I got them on time. (I wrote down the times so I wouldn't forget). I took the full prescription of percoset, even once I returned home, and they also have you take advil (I think?) alternating with the percoset. Unless you want to limit your pain meds, I would really recommend this, as I never felt any pain. I could walk (slowly at first), do the stairs (slowly) and hold/nurse my daughter, no problem. I had a wonderful beginning with her that way.
I would also recommend staying in the hospital for as long as you can. I stayed for 3 nights, which is pretty standard. You get meals served to you, you have your baby (babies!) and all the supplies right there, and you have nurses that can help you out. We had our daughter room in the entire time, but when she woke during the night, after I fed her, I would sometimes ask the nurse to diaper her if I or DH was really tired (like a built-in night nurse that insurance pays for!).
Also - once they take out the IV and catherter, and give you the OK to get up, definitely walk around as much as you can. We would walk our daughter around the nursery area in her bassinet 2-3 time per day. I think that helped the circulation and build my strength back up.
I was very glad I did a planned C. My friend had a baby 5 days before, had a huge tear, blood loss, fainting, transfusion, and basically didn't get to really hold her baby for about 24 hours. Then she wa pushed out of the hospital. She ended up not breast feeding as a result, and had a very painful recovery. This isn't the typical vaginal birth, but mine was definitely much easier!!
As far as stomach muscles, I got my visible abs back about 3-4 months later (as they don't cut the muscles). I got the OK to exercise (slowly) at 6 weeks, but honestly, really didn't do anything until about 3 months, and even now it's hit or miss, as working and being a mommy leaves no free time! Also, be sure you get sutures, not staples - the scar will heal much nicer. 5 months later I have a thin red line that's so low, only DH will ever see it.
Agreeing with everyone. My c-section was no big deal. I've definitely heard of vaginal births that were harder to recover from. I had already gotten the epidural a few hours before the c-section was decided on, so once in the OR they just had to add some more anesthetic to it. I was holding my girl within 5 minutes of her first holler, and nursed her in recovery.
ReplyDeleteMy advice post c-section is to get up and move around as soon as you can, and TAKE THE PAIN MEDS. Relief from the surgical pain allows your body to heal better. The side effects ease up after the first day. I got much more drowsy from the oxytocin release during breastfeeding than from the pain meds. Now that is weird! I'd feel fine, then within 2 minutes of her beginning to nurse, my eyes would start to close.