Pipped to the post

After all your great comments and support I decided to show my last post to DH. I texted that we should meet at our local food place (great burgers mmm) and I thought I would pull it up on my phone and ask him to read it.
When I got there he looked so sad and a little pale.
"Give me a kiss, quick" he muttered.
Turned out that he had made a mistake at work and it had deeply affected him. He teared up in the diner.A couple of times. He said he hates making mistakes, what if he loses his job etc.

Decided not to bring up my post!!!!!

I realised that his problem isn't that he doesn't care, oh no, its that he cares and feels too much. Ironically his lack of empathy (which is indicative of his personality) is evenly matched with his depth of feeling (mainly about himself). This makes him sound like a narcissist but that is not my intent. My sweetie is an only child with no living relatives and has been on his lonesome since 25yrs old. It has always been about looking after himself. He does love me very deeply, more now than when we married. Its just that he has a hard time putting the feelings of others ahead of his own. No-one was ever there for him, not as a child and certainly not as an adult.


Shall I speak with him about my needs? Yes, I shall. Do I expect anything to change. Nope. He cuddles me, strokes my feet and tells me how much he loves me. I think I am being ungrateful for the gifts he does offer. So he isn't the rock of confidence I would like but he is many other wonderful things. And I am OK with that.