Turns out a leopard can change its spots. My DH internalised the criticism and has changed his behavior... in a BIG way.
He did some pretty dramatic things such as went to the bank to see about putting my name on everything, put my name on the bank safe and without me asking gave me a ton of cash for some bills we have.
He also bought me Mother's Day cards (one from him, one from the kids) and a present ... EARLY. This from a man that didn't do anything for my 40th birthday even after repeated instruction about what I wanted and usually he goes to Duane Reed at about 4pm on the day of celebration for a card. This weekend he took me out for lunch at a great restaurant (Greek food - oh it was great) and then informed me that for two mornings a week he will get up first with the kids. Is it 50 / 50 no, but holy husband bat.man, I'll take it!!!!!
I admire how he takes a ton of criticism and responds in full force. And man, for a first Mothers Day, this has all been quite wonderful.