Friday, July 16, 2010

What to do ????

As with every NY couple we have been on the nanny search for a while. We are down to two wonderful people who are polar opposites of each other!
I need help from the bloggie land to think through the candidates.

A. is older and very experienced. My friend worked with her for 5 years and still loves her. She has great ideas for the kids from ages 0 to 5 and is really flexible with time and travel etc. She understands corporate pressures and seems to have been given huge amounts responsibility from her employers. She wants to be paid in the books.

B. is 21 and has an early education degree. she's full of energy and easy going (although a bit of a chatterbox). She has never had a full time position (since she is fresh out of college) but seems very eager to be in the job. She wants to be paid off the books.

I am going to be traveling with whomever the caretaker is (in the first quarter of 2011 I will be on a plane most weeks). The older one (A) has a son but has assured me that she can travel. The younger one is foot loose and fancy free. Both travel for fun.
A went through a great plan to get the kids onto solids fast, potty training, behavior etc.
B. is very education focused but doesn't seem to have too much to say about the early years but we didn't ask her any direct questions about food education etc.

Ahhhh who do we go with!!!!!


  1. older for sure. i am sure she will be just as education focused and actual experience matters more than anything else!!

  2. I say go with the older, experienced woman who comes with a positive reference from someone you know. You already know Ms. Older is interested in being a nanny. Ms. 21 could potentially (a) announce she is getting married and is quitting her job; (b) decide to go to graduate school and quit her job; (c) decide to become an XYZ and quit being a nanny....or something else. And no doubt her news would come at a bad time, and the kids' routine would be upset as you scramble to find a new nanny.

    It just seems on the face of it that the older woman would be more dependable. THAT'S what you really need.

  3. I would go with B. I would fear that A would easily forget you are the parent. You need to have the say on what path you put the kids on. Besides what happens if suddenly A can't travel when you need her?

  4. I would choose the older one. The proven choice with a great recommendation and good ideas. And the common sense and safety focus that comes with age. And I would definitely pay on the books. You just don't want to end up getting huge fines or anything like that. There are online payroll services that handle everything, including direct deposit, tax returns, etc. so it's not a hassle for you. I found out all this stuff because I came this close to hiring a nanny that used to work at my daughter's daycare. She was young and seemed fun and energetic. And then right before I was about to give her an offer, she totally flaked and stopped returning calls, emails and texts.

  5. I would trust your friend's recommendation and go with A - 100%. As a new mom (working mom, no less!) with twins, you need someone who has been there herself and who has the know-how and the experience to share with you. There's a huge difference between reading about early childhood education in a textbook and looking after twin infants. Plus, I would be really nervous about hiring someone who has never had a full-time job. I personally think she'd be better off taking care of slightly older kids for her first gig.

    Best of luck with the decision!


  6. Another vote for the older one. 'Never had a full time job' seems like a HUGE mark against the younger, and 'they still love her even after five years' seems equally huge in favor of the older. Good luck with your decision!

  7. Go with the older one. Hands down. No contest.

  8. Hi EB -- you have talked about not having any family close by or anyone with lots of baby experience, I think in your shoes I would go with A. The learning curve is steep with little babies, I would want someone to bounce things off of who has been there before. Seems like you've managed enough people so you'll be able to rely on her expertise without clouding the issue of who's in charge (i.e., it's whatever YOU think about solid foods and potty training, both of which are really far away, after considering advice that counts). Good luck with the decision. So exciting that everything is coming together -- what a ton of work you've done to get this all figured out! With love,

  9. I vote for the older one. I don't have any experience with nannies, but as a business owner our older employees outperform our younger ones handsdown - better attendance, better attitude, more flexible, more responsible and honestly smarter.

  10. I would go with A. She's experienced, has good references and seems to understand about boundaries. Most significant is she is legally declaring her income which means she views it as a JOB. I would not EVER consider paying a nanny under the table. Just my two cents.
    Good luck!

  11. I would go with A, without question. However, I am a bit apprehensive about her travel ability if she has a son. How old is he? If he's 11, that's bad. If he's 18, that's fine. I mean, people think they can travel until the reality of being away from home for weeks sets in.

    But in terms of experience, comfort, sense of responsibility, etc. the older one seems the better fit. 21 year olds scare the hell out of me. I was probably the most responsible 21 year old on the planet and twins and travel might have overwhelmed me.

  12. Definitely go with A. Experience is the key and they are precious cargo!

  13. I'd go with the older one. I'm a college prof and my students are 21. Although lots of energy and fun and etc, they are a flight risk and definitely lack the judgement of an older, experienced person. Plus, even the most well-intentioned 21 simply does not have the value system in place that I think I'd want for a nanny. Someone who, if a situation arises that is "out of the ordinary," would be able to navigate with a clear sense of ethics and responsibility. Without a doubt, I'd go with A. Hands down.