I don't feel pregnant. I am fat and have the belly but I am can't really feel them anymore. We go for the big u/s on Wednesday but that seems like forever away. I am now paranoid that I haven't eaten enough protein or calcium or I have eaten too much sugar and carbs and I have killed them. There is so much stress at work I worry that the cortisone and adrenalin may have done them in.
And yet, as I write, a feel a small pain in my side, then it's gone. Another one the other side and then it's gone. I know that's them, kicking me and each other. I know they are in there, safe and sound because the doctors told me that I am in the lowest category for worry. I also know that I love them totally and absolutely already and that we are a special little trio of life. I know I have only 18 more weeks of growing them and I think that makes me fearful. I never dreamt I could get this far and here we are. Looking at 'the home stretch'. Will it be snatched away from me? Do I deserve this much of a gift and this much love?
I need to snap out of this. Be thankful for this opportunity to grow life (there is an old Jewish quote about assisting in gods miracle which I love). Maybe I shall lay still for 10 mins and send them lots of love.