Friday, October 7, 2011

Sinking in...

The whole 'no job' thing is sinking in. It's terrifying. Everyone is stunned  - all my friends and colleagues. No-one saw this coming, not really. At least it isn't a performance thing. This is the result of a hostile take-over and I am on the wrong team.

At first I had massive emotional swings. 'Freedom!' to despair to 'lets go!' to feck off while I curl up in a ball and whimper. I am in a permanent state of shock now. I think about the fact that for the first time in my adult life I have no income and a spike of panic spread through me. My shrink prescribed some sleeping pills and working out. I walked for an hour this morning and it did f+ck all.

And one of the worst things about all this is I have three weeks of work left. I have to actually still be at work. It's torture.  And, my dear friend and colleague is on vacation till the middle of the month. I have to tell her when she gets back. Totally dreading it.

I have got to get it together.

At least the recruiter calls are all set up.

Thanks to those that posted - it was great to read the support. 


  1. Hang in there, dear!!!
    All your symptoms ( eek!) sound completely normal for this very difficult situation. It's a huge shock, and very brutal. As for work, yes you have to be there, but do you have to give them even 50%? they are getting rid of you.what do you owe them? Obviously you need them for references so you can't go all psycho on them, but couldn't you just show up, fake smile and slack off a bit?
    Take care! Big hugs!

  2. I found myself in a similar situation in the beginning of 2010 only WE acquired THEM. But, in a move befitting sometimes ruthless corporate American, our parent company kept THEIR team.

    Just keep doing what you are doing to line up a new position which, I guarantee, you will like as much or more because of this experience.

  3. Ugh. I hope things start to settle down a bit soon and the path ahead becomes clear. This has got to be so scary. But remember, you are the mother of twins, you can do ANYTHING!

  4. Oh boy. So sorry. You may recall that I was laid off from "the firm" right before Thanksgiving in 2008 (happy holidays!). Like you, half the time I was a wreck and half the time I felt liberated. My free time is what allowed me to discover embryo adoption in February 2009 and lead me to the journey through which I had my son. All I mean to say is, it will work out. One way or another. Which doesn't mean it won't be scary, but I know you will land in a good place.

    Oh, and sorry to read about Pip's split lip on the slide! Scout fell in the hallway over a toy to acquire his first split lip. I think its a rite of toddlerhood. WE suffer though!