I really wanted to stop one of my kids crying last night. They were screaming and not stopping. Oh I was so frustrated with them (kind of shocked me actually). I was soon in the rocker with them, cuddling them back to sleep and feeling so full of love for them. But the annoyance before we got to the rocker was just a bit too much, a bit too ... intense.
Not sure where to take this. Maybe it's human nature? Maybe we have a switch that goes on when we skirt too close to the edge and the anger is turned into love? Maybe I should accept that parenting is frustrating and annoying sometimes but that I will not hurt my kids because of the reaction I'm having to last night? Or, says a small voice in my head, this is a red flag.
I think I need to reconnect with some sense of peace of mind or calm. I need to let go of some of the worry I'm carrying around. What to do. I'm clearly spooked by last night.
Not sure where to take this. Maybe it's human nature? Maybe we have a switch that goes on when we skirt too close to the edge and the anger is turned into love? Maybe I should accept that parenting is frustrating and annoying sometimes but that I will not hurt my kids because of the reaction I'm having to last night? Or, says a small voice in my head, this is a red flag.
I think I need to reconnect with some sense of peace of mind or calm. I need to let go of some of the worry I'm carrying around. What to do. I'm clearly spooked by last night.
How did you want to stop them? I think it's normal to be frustrated, even to feel a bit irrational. We had a really rough weekend a few weeks ago and I keptbsinging "one boy for sale", and my husband was speculating on how much we could get on the open market for each of them. It was just blowing off steam, but it was useful. Don't forget, twins are hard! Remind me of that at some point too!
ReplyDeleteFrustrating I know. I think we all have those moments. Then they pass. Sometimes just a small change will help them from reoccurring. Let's face it though, even though we love those little ones, screaming isn't fun!
ReplyDeleteI think all parents have moments of frustration - which may lead to, shall we say, bad thoughts. I don't think that having the thought alone is a dangerous thing. I would say that having a real, tangible urge to DO something bad, and struggling not to do that bad thing would be a sign that a parent needs some help. I know that we want to NEVER have an ill thought about our children - especially after what we went through to get them. But we are still human. We still have limited patience. And even when angry, we still love them. Which you proved.
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