Tuesday, June 7, 2011


I need help.

I live in a building where we have maintenance guys. I really like them even tho, yes, they can be ... short of words. There is only one guy that gets the cleaning jobs and he happens to be the nicest of them all.

I got in the elevator and he was there. We chatted for a while and he got out. There was a short fat sweaty resident in the elevator with us. He tutted and snorted and said "He should use the service elevator"


What a jack ass. It's the middle of the day in the middle of a work week - who the fuck cares.

And did I say anything? Did I defend my mate? No, I think I blushed with anger and shook my head. I think I may have tutted at the guy. Ohhh tutted. Am I force to be reckoned with or what!

HELP ME WITH SOME ONE LINERS!!!!! Help me with come backs and quick responses so I don't feel like such a bloody doormat. 


  1. I don't have any witty come backs (although I usually do) for this type of situation, but unless the maintenance guy was using the elevator to actually move equipment or freight, then HE should have had to take the service elevator (or freight elevator as they are known here).

    MYOB might have been what I would have said.

  2. I've been really outspoken lately (I think my thyroid is overactive), so perhaps I'm not the person to ask, but in that situation I would probably simply say:

    "I don't have a problem with him using this elevator. In fact, I find him very pleasant to talk to. I think all of the maintenance staff do a bang-up job and they should be able to take whichever elevator they like."

    but if you want a wise crack:

    "YOU should use anti-perspirant."


    "YOU should take the stairs."


    "That's my brother."



  3. How about "It's the middle of the day in the middle of a work week - who the fuck cares."

    Or, if you don't want to be so openly nasty, there's the subtle (stated in an overly sympathetic, dramatic), "Sorry...you must really be having a bad day to be so mean about something so harmless."

    Shorter yet: "Whaddya think this is, The Ritz?"

  4. Ohhhh, one more option "You must pay more rent than I do cause I don't give a crap."