Every year I write about how much I hate my birthday. It's not the ageing coz I don't really care about all that. I always get disappointed by the lack of effort. Nothing new to report this year.
My folks sent an old card, all bent up. They suggested I buy my present from them. "It's just easier that way". Yes, it is. It also defies idea of actually 'giving'. I bought myself a slice of carrot cake at lunch time - thanks ma.
DH made some effort. He bought me flowers (didn't actually give them to me but did put them in a vase). He may or may not have bought a card. He even wished me happy birthday this morning. That's the most he's ever done.
But it's not the cards or presents. Its the total lack of effort. For just one day of the year it would be nice to have a fuss made. To made to feel like all the work and compromise is recognized. And to be given a present and card that I didn't actually buy. That really frikkin' amazes me.
I was born to people that just don't celebrate for any reason and I try not to let it bother me. Ha!
I have chosen a mate that doesn't have much empathy since he was basically left to care for himself as a child. I knew all this going into the marriage so I can't blame him.
Still bites tho.
There. Self pity fest over.
Happy Birthday to me.
My folks sent an old card, all bent up. They suggested I buy my present from them. "It's just easier that way". Yes, it is. It also defies idea of actually 'giving'. I bought myself a slice of carrot cake at lunch time - thanks ma.
DH made some effort. He bought me flowers (didn't actually give them to me but did put them in a vase). He may or may not have bought a card. He even wished me happy birthday this morning. That's the most he's ever done.
But it's not the cards or presents. Its the total lack of effort. For just one day of the year it would be nice to have a fuss made. To made to feel like all the work and compromise is recognized. And to be given a present and card that I didn't actually buy. That really frikkin' amazes me.
I was born to people that just don't celebrate for any reason and I try not to let it bother me. Ha!
I have chosen a mate that doesn't have much empathy since he was basically left to care for himself as a child. I knew all this going into the marriage so I can't blame him.
Still bites tho.
There. Self pity fest over.
Aw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We're not family but I appreciate you and everything you write about.
ReplyDeleteXOXO!
Happy Belated Birthday! You are an amazing person! You are a wonderful mother and wife, successful and driven. You provide Pip and Mimi with a loving, supportive, nurturing home. You are awesome!
ReplyDeleteI hear you about the lack of effort on behalf of the hubby and about the fact that they were always like that. It didn't suddenly change. However, our needs changed and that's what's causing the hard feelings. They should make an effort if we request it now, because it is what we NEED!
Kathy XOXOXO
Happy, happy birthday!
ReplyDeleteBecause my parents were incapable of any special treatment or effort on my birthday, somewhere in my late 20s/early 30s, I began the ritual of hosting my own party every year. Now that I am 46, I don't do it with the same gusto, but I learned that if I wanted my birthday to be special for me, then I just had to plan it. And, my parents are the same with my son...they've never, in almost 6 years, ever bought him something for his birthday or Christmas or just because. Ever. They'd either give me some money and tell me to get him something for them, or just tell me to get him something and they'd reimburse me. NO EFFORT whatsoever.
Sorry EB. Happy Belated Birthday, though!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday Em. Sorry everyone in your life disappoints you on your special day. It sucks. But you are an amazing mom and wife and I wish you a special day. Xoxoxo
ReplyDelete