1, 2, 1, and a whole lot more

1 month in my new job and  ohhhhhhh it's a yukky mess which reduces me to tears most days.

2 little kids had their first visit to dentist. One went weeeee and the other went AHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!! We have a binky removal effort underway.

1 new job interview :-)

And

... in a few days my kids start preschool.

Preschool.

Pre - school.

How is that possible. My babies. My babies are starting the long journey to not being my babies. Oh man. We are potty training. We are binky removing. We are proper underwear wearing. We are long sentence speaking, mind speaking, wall marking and big food eating preschoolers.

Pre...

My Birthday Today

Every year I write about how much I hate my birthday.  It's not the ageing coz I don't really care about all that. I always get disappointed by the lack of effort. Nothing new to report this year.

My folks sent an old card, all bent up. They suggested I buy my present from them. "It's just easier that way". Yes, it is. It also defies idea of actually 'giving'. I bought myself a slice of carrot cake at lunch time - thanks ma.

DH made some effort. He bought me flowers (didn't actually give them to me but did put them in a vase). He may or may not have bought a card. He even wished me happy birthday this morning. That's the most he's ever done.

But it's not the cards or presents. Its the total lack of effort.  For just one day of the year it would be nice to have a fuss made.  To made to feel like all the work and compromise is recognized. And to be given a present and card that I didn't actually buy. That really frikkin' amazes me.

I was born to people that just don't celebrate for any reason and I try not to let it bother me. Ha!
I have chosen a mate that doesn't have much empathy since he was basically left to care for himself as a child. I knew all this going into the marriage so I can't blame him.

 Still bites tho.

There. Self pity fest over.

Happy Birthday to me.  

Ideas needed!!

AA, the kids nanny, has a birthday coming up and I don't know what to get. I googled suggestions and we've done nearly everything that came up!

She had summer Fridays in July (paid time off)
We have given her a mug with a photo of her and the kids, a lovely necklace, English tea and cookies,  and a crystal something from Tiffany's coz she collects crystal and a cash bonus.


Seriously, I'm stuck.

 PLEASE HELP!!

So turns the world

So life is getting back in to some sort of routine. I have been in my new job three weeks and my reservation were all correct. The place is insane but there are enough of us scratching our heads that it makes it all fun.

Mimi has started asking me stay in the mornings. She grabs at my clothing or takes my shoes. It breaks my heart. I want to stay baby girl I really do. Pip cuddles up close and cries when I leave but I know he gets over it pretty quickly. Wish I could somehow parcel my life better. No, I wish I could just win the damn lottery and spend more time with my wonderful kids.

I'm going to bring them to work one day soon so they can see where I work and see where I go.

Until then, please help me with ways of getting out the door that doesn't end in my kids screaming my name and breaking my heart! 

2 yrs old!

The kids had their second birthday recently. We've had quite a few parties to celebrate - the family one, the nanny and play friends one and the mum/dad one.

 We have a table full of gifts yet to be open coz they just love playing with their cards :-) An apartment full of Dor.a balloons that just won't go down and a long list of thank you cards yet to be written.

Just as my guys turned two, BBUB+1 gave birth to her twins - boy and girl. So now I guess the blog with be BBUB +3! Congratulations to you all. I am so happy for you.

Having twins has been such a cool ride so far. It's physically demanding (my back is killing me most nights after all the picking up and bending over). Sometimes it's overwhelming but I think that is just the same as any number of kids. The best thing, for me, is the double cuddle. Laying on the sofa, covered in adoring toddler is just wonderful.

But far and away the loveliest thing about twins is watching them together. Something magical and special happens between them that transcends language. She will know when he is going to sneeze and have something ready for him. He will drop everything and defend her at playgroup if THAT kid is trying to bully her. I know they will have each other long after we are not around anymore and that is the greatest gift a mum can have.

extreme stress reaction

It's like a week long major panic attack and I had one.  All week. I ended up on pills and more pills.

The thing that brought most comfort was holding the kids at the end of the day. I also put up a screen saver that rotated through the kids photo's.

By the end of day 4 I was ready to quit. Funnily enough, day 5 things started to click.

Anyone else had anything like this? Over any event?

new job new life

I started my job yesterday.

wait, that can't be right. its been at least three weeks hasn't it?

nope. yesterday.

I was a complete wreck yesterday!  Crying at night, throwing up (yes, oh yes) and wanting to run away. I felt vulnerable and frightened. I felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life and there was no way I could do the job.

Finally, today, my second day I met folks who are industry veterans but new to the company and they closed my door and described a very similar reaction to the company. Its not that its bad. Its just that it is huge and everything ... EVERYTHING is in flux.

However.

For the first time in my life I have an amazing boss. I think I will learn lots from her.  I have lovely colleagues and with the exception of one guy, I have a great division.

The best thing tho...

We all leave at 6pm.

I am home by 6.30 and have tons of time with the kids. I love coming home to them even when they are total snot balls of cold!! How much snot can that little nose produce guys???? And does it always have to come out and directly onto my silk shirts?

So there we are. A new chapter opens up just like that. An out of home working mum of twins. I am remarkably proud of that!

Cry giggle giggle

The kids have just gone to bed. Last night at this time Pip was a vomiting terror so we were a little gentle with him today (he drank salted water, don't ask).

I decided on a simple day, exercise, early meal, bath, stories and bed.

They didn't get the memo. Whilst they willing marched off to their room, they clearly had NO intention of settling down.  They are making crying, whiny noises then breaking into fits of giggles. I'm kind of jealous that they get to have so much fun! I'll go in and do the mum thing ...

"right, quiet down, both of you or no [insert usual treat here] tomorrow"

stroke hair and leave to a barrage of thrown teddies and a cacophony of giggles.

Twins!

Count down to new times

This is my last day of freedom. I have spent most of it getting ready for next week and the following weeks.
How am I doing? Freaking out. Yup. A little retail therapy helped - new lipstick and a black dress.

I spoke with the little play school that we had signed up with.   One of the rules is that parents must be in attendance.  When we visited I was struck by how much I liked the school so I was totally bummed that we had to 'resign' from the school.
The women running it loved our super nanny so much that as we can teach one in 15 classes (which my husband will have to do) the guys can go to the school with super nanny. Whooohioooo
They will have preschool, dance class, art class and music class. I'm knackered just thinking about it!!

But that also means that they will have no time to wonder where the hell mummy is.  

With the amounts of preparation going into the various household have to's you'd think I was running for president.  The shopping is on auto delivery, the washing will be done by super nanny, bills are on auto payment and the Valium is ordered. Ok maybe not the Valium. Not a bad idea.


Ok. I have some free time left. I am going to watch tv, go to the gym and book a massage.

All quiet on the hoohaa front

After just a couple of sits bath's and having a baby girl that smells like fish and chips, Mimi seems perfectly fine. PHEW. Poor kid wasn't allowed to sit in a diaper for more than 2 seconds but hey, first time mum even with twins are neurotic. Not gonna stop us from swimming in waaaateeeeww tho. Hell no. 

I have something of a conundrum. I disagree with the way a playmate's parents ...parent. They give the kid over to the nanny in the morning and tell her not to return to the home until 5.30pm. Ever. That kid has been out in 100 degree weather and snow storms. I gave the nanny an open invite to come hide out at our house. This week the kid ended up in the hospital. Again. She was having difficulty breathing but the parents sent her out of the house all the same. The nanny came to me and I sent her to the ER. 

This is not that they are too strict, or only let their kids eat organic or you can only speak mandarin around the kids. Those quirky New Yorker parents I can ignore. 

I can't but help feel that this parenting is neglectful. It seriously endangers their daughter. They left their kid in the hospital over night alone. She's just turned 2. WTF?????

I've only met them once. 

Is there anything I can do? Or is it just non of my business?