Getting back to myself with the kids.

I know its a cliche but when one door closes...

I recently started directing theatre again. I used to love it and it seems that all the training and experience never really went anywhere.

Now I have the kids I'd say I am a better person. I do things I enjoy for myself and I make sure I really enjoy the time I spent away from the kids. Then I come home and the kids go nuts. Is there anything better than that.

I walked in last night after a really difficult directing job that thankfully went well and Mimi saw me, smiled and blew me a big kiss.

I know I have to get a real job but I am trying really hard to set up some income for the rest of the year so I can do more theatre directing, some travel and spend as much time as possible with my wonderful and infuriating toddling kids.

I have to go. Mimi is trying to fit Pip in a space that is just not big enough even for a little lad. 

Toddler's suck

Well, looks like Mimi has entered full time toddlerdom. She had a total and utter meltdown yesterday for twenty minutes (just when I needed to get out to a business diner!) and she is turning into a totally bossy little miss.

Not fun.

And yet. I love how independent she is. How proud and brave she is. What a women warrior. I am in awe. I wish I could have just a tiny amount of her ... well .. spunk!

As fierce as she is Pip is sweet. If you lay on the floor he will quietly lay behind you then scoot around till you are eye to eye then smile and say 'hi!' ADORABLE

We are slowly getting our selves together for next week's trip to the UK. Pray for me. Pray for us all. 

plague and petulance

We seem to be in the same boat as so many out there. Plague hits again. I got sick this time. I was given an inhaler, pills, nose thing, more pills and  I still sound like a brick layer the morning after.

Ah well. At least it's me and not the little ones

They are still coughing a little bit but they seem ... dare I type this? No sorry. Not tempting fate.

I am being super cautious since we are flying next week. Keeping them away from the play zone (or bacteria zone as husband calls it). Please, travel goddess, protect us from flying with sick babies.



So I have a question for all you twinny mums out there.

Is one twin naughtier than the other? Pip is always getting into trouble. He isn't a mean boy just a really ... well... consistently naughty boy! He touches things he knows he not supposed to. I count to 5 and he runs away. But this is happening 100x a day and frankly I am losing my mind!

A good thing

I got notice today that we were granted the visa for DN to come to the UK with us. Yipee. Oh yipee. I did not want to have to take one child over there and then spend another small fortune to take the other one over a few weeks later.

This feels like a little bit of good luck in a sea of unlucky.  Luck, ha! I spent hours and a thousand dollars on this. But, I shall take what I can. Maybe this is the start of my luck turning.

Another little bit o' luck was last night, for the first time in nearly two weeks, I slept for more than 4 hours in a row. Oh it felt so good. If I could kiss sleep I would.

Tonight I have the humidifier going with teatree oil and eucalyptus and organic lavender oil spread over their crib sheets and onesies.  Yes, perhaps overkill on the natural remedies but I'm hooked now. I need another hit of sleep man, just a little hit, oh man, just a little you know... hit man.

For the love of all please let me sleep

Mimi has had a cold for a week. She was up with a horrible cough most nights. I begin sleeping on the floor in their room coz its closer and to be honest, three seconds more sleep is quite an amount at the moment!

Just as Mimi turned the corner ... oh yeah, Pip comes down with it. Now I am up for the second week.

I'd forgotten the early times. The start of all this. How tired, tired can be. My sinus's are freakin' tired!!  I feel kinda grungy coz I'm sleeping a little in the day and not working out. I'm all out of balance. I just had meatballs and spaghetti with a jam sandwich for my supper. What?! Perhaps I should just work out, do what I can, just to reset.

I'm not sure why I don't ask DH to take a night. Or even to take 50% of the nights. Why do I think this is not an option. Something to ponder when I get my brain back, I suppose. Maybe this could be my present ;-)

Happy St Valentines Day to all.

Airplane toys

Anyone got any good ideas about what toys to take with us on the plane?  I'm thinking ...

1) disposable
2) small
3) light

great for 18 month olds.

So far I have been given the following ideas

connector toys that pop together
plastic cars
something they can scribble on

Airline A$$holes

I'm trying to go see my mum with the kids. DH can't go so I am hoping to take DN (darling nanny). That in itself has been a frikkin' fiasco (visa, visa, visa).
I booked our seats online then immediately called the airline coz I thought I had made a mistake - it didn't look like the kids had seats. Now lapkids is fine by me but not overnight into a rough time zone. They assured me, ASSURED me the kids had seats.

I wasn't so sure I believed the agent so I called again. No they don't have seats. WTF!!!  Can I buy the seats now at the same deal rate - yes of course,  but I shall just make a note ... oh wait, they do have seats. Really? Yes, Madam, they do DOOOOO have seats.

I checked again, same story.

Today I was in an American Airfuckup office (dropping off the $500 visa application!)  and the chick says 'no of course they don't have seats, have you ever seen a seat at that price'.

I am from Yorkshire. We are patient but folks. But when we lose it .... we really lose it.

I think there was smoke coming out of my ears, eyes, nose and ... well you get the picture.

The thing that tipped me over the edge was the condescending explanation that I had booked through a reservation specialist not a ticketing specialist. I's easy, says blue clad byatch, for a reservation person to make this kind of mistake.
This kind of mistake is your bread and feckin butter you moron.

Are you kidding me.

Damn, still mad.

Anyway the long side of this story is I'm travelling over night with two 18 month olds. My wonderful nanny is not phased but she has never flown into this time zone before nor taken an overnight flight with infants (she worked for really wealthy people before us!)

Has anyone got any ideas, thoughts, experiences or general observations that might help me with preparing, overnight flights, lap baby sleeping etc? Anything at all would be most welcome.


Oh and avoid February 29th late flight from JFK to Manchester. Just saying.

Cough Cough Cough

Mimi, myself and the nanny are all sick. Wonder nanny even called in sick today which is something. She was so ill yesterday that I asked her to go home but she wanted to prepare the roast chicken and veggie's before she left!

I went to bed last night in the firm belief that I would be up. And oh yes, I was back up in one hour. After the fourth time of cough cough, cough cough, ... , mammmmmmma!! I just lay on the floor next to her crib and shushed her back to sleep. I think I may have to ability to shush in my sleep.  Once DH gets home from work I shall go to bed and get some sleep ready for the night shift again. I do hope I get a job soon so I can go on a business trip and sleep. I'd even take an overnight flight at this point!!!

Today, she is eating and drinking water and napping. I am not sure why I was given such a wonderful child. She is quite something. We all feel crappy but somehow she is still generous and smiling. Even when she coughs and it clearly hurts her. I stroke her head and she says 'dank you'. It must be the mum thing but when I look at her I see something special. A sense of kindness. Of goodness. Other people mention it to me all the time. Can't really take any credit :-)

I gotta go. There are some terrifying noises coming from their room followed by giggles. Never good. 

Low getting higher

I think I hit rock bottom yesterday. I went to see my shrink and just lost it. Went all to pieces. She was great as usual. LOVE HER.  She is insisting that I email her everyday.  So I thought, well might as well email her my exercise and diet. That way I will both exercise and watch my food.

I do feel better today. Probably because today is the first time in a long time that I have time to myself.


Still no job. No consulting gigs either but I am not in a total panic. Not quite. I have some things maybe lining up. I have a lottery ticket!!!

The trip to the UK has turned into a money pit. The second visa application has run into $800's. Such a rip off. If they deny it I will start a campaign to get some cash back. After I take one of the kids to the UK! One kid will be a breeze. Just won't be able to work out at the hotel unless my folks babysit. Mind you, I will be in the countryside so I could actually exercise outside. You know, in the fresh air!!!