It turns out that by having two babies I have effectively cut my chances of getting 'the big job' in half. How do I know this - I basically interrogated my recruiter after a recent job interview experience.
I make a point not to talk about my kids especially if I am being interviewed by a women with no kids or a guy of any shape and size. Last interview I went on was a really great interview, or sets of interviews, and I was told by the HR rep as we walked out of the building that it looked really promising (which they wouldn't say unless it was in the bag) and they would call 'my people' the next day.
A few hours later someone called 'for a follow up chat'.
Could I travel? Yes.
How much? As much as was required.
Can I work weekends and any unusual hours? Yes.
A day or two went by so I called my Headhunter and she finally confessed that they had been writing up the contract when she mentioned my kids and they balked. They don't think I can do the travel etc required of this position no matter what I may say. She said she'd seen it time and again when representing executive women.
Holy fuck on a stick.
Are we in some 1950s vortex? We still have to petition for basic civil right in the reproduction area, we still make 75c on the dollar and there are still NO women running the top ten companies in the USA. Don't get me started on governing bodies.
Turns out the person that was awarded the position is a working father. Apparently working fathers are attractive coz it indicates stability and commitment. Working mothers not so much. I am tempted to write a book called ...
I make a point not to talk about my kids especially if I am being interviewed by a women with no kids or a guy of any shape and size. Last interview I went on was a really great interview, or sets of interviews, and I was told by the HR rep as we walked out of the building that it looked really promising (which they wouldn't say unless it was in the bag) and they would call 'my people' the next day.
A few hours later someone called 'for a follow up chat'.
Could I travel? Yes.
How much? As much as was required.
Can I work weekends and any unusual hours? Yes.
A day or two went by so I called my Headhunter and she finally confessed that they had been writing up the contract when she mentioned my kids and they balked. They don't think I can do the travel etc required of this position no matter what I may say. She said she'd seen it time and again when representing executive women.
Holy fuck on a stick.
Are we in some 1950s vortex? We still have to petition for basic civil right in the reproduction area, we still make 75c on the dollar and there are still NO women running the top ten companies in the USA. Don't get me started on governing bodies.
Turns out the person that was awarded the position is a working father. Apparently working fathers are attractive coz it indicates stability and commitment. Working mothers not so much. I am tempted to write a book called ...
I'm going out on the job market in the next few months, and this is all I can see in my future! So sorry. I hate this sh*t!! And by the way, did this headhunter mention your kids unprompted? If so, there needs to be a chat.......
ReplyDeleteI find it astounding that YOUR HEADHUNTER shot you in the foot. WHOA. YOU know not to mention it and THEY are not allowed to ask. What kind of headhunter gets in the mix and fouls that up?! ... She must have been worried that if they found out you had twins at home AFTER the ink was dry ... it would damage HER relationship with them. I know you can't count on a headhunter to look after ~your~ interests, but ... something is very rotten here. NTM ... any HR or exec ... even lower or mid-level execs ... worth their salt understands that ~admitting~ it was the fact that you have children that lost you the position ... is grounds to sue (not that it is always smart or worthwhile for you to there).
ReplyDeleteAs for the lack of progress, well ... I ~wish~ that astounded me.
Argh. Hope a much better fish comes along soon ...
This really pisses me off. I would have a serious chat with that fucking headhunter and let her know that she cost you the job. Explain to her that you have a FULL TIME NANNY to take care of your kids. This shouldn't be happening in 2012. pisses me off.
ReplyDeleteTell her you have a nanny and your mother lives with you( very young Granny)!!
ReplyDeleteThis is just the worst! Any follow up from the headhunter on her serious gaffe? I think you could sue that company for discrimination. Maybe you should become the head hunter and put hers on a stick?!
ReplyDeleteI am using my hospital stay to catch up on blogs....
ReplyDeleteThis is fucking ridiculous!! As another professional woman, I feel your pain. I never mention my kids during work stuff, by the way. Since that's not what they want from me, I figure there's no need. If I want the job, I'll work the details out, and my personal life is really none of their business.
It just makes my blood boil that they hired a father over you. Such sexist bullshit. THAT is the problem for professional women today. And while I'm all potty-mouthed, let me mention that I also thought the Anne Marie Slaughter article in the Atlantic was complete crap. No one can work 80 hours a week and be at home, regardless of gender, because none of us have found a way around the time space continum. Her main message has all sorts of young women worrying they can't have the career they want AND the family they want, which is bullshit. She missed the problem entirely, in my book.