Tree decision

I backed off calling the social services on my DH and gained some perspective. And I took a V.alium. That helped.

So ...
Are you a real tree or a fake tree family? Growing up we had a fake tree. I loved decorating it with my dad but Christmastime was hard for my mum. So, the whole thing was a bit of a disaster really.
When I moved to America I saw all the tree's in the street (from the day after Thanksgiving) and I was in pig heaven. A REAL tree. Holy cow, what am I a millionaire. Only really wealthy people have real tree's.

Every year since we met Dh and I spend a lovely evening together, listening to bad Christmas music decorating our real tree.

But now we have the bionic babies. I swear, Mimi is so totally superbaby. She can lift small buildings over her head so a Christmas Tree - ha! no problem.  And Pip, he can wiggle anywhere.

I looked on-line and they range from $40 to $400!! Wow.

So, what do you do? Anyone had toddlers near a real tree? 

Deadly

On Saturday morning I get to do my stuff. I sleep in, go to Weight Watch.ers and the gym.  By the time I get home the kids are usually out of control - hungry, dirty, still in PJs, dirty nappies.

No difference today.

However, today, I noticed there was a pillow in the corner of their room. Didn't think anything of it and we had to go out so I got the kids washed, dressed and fed.

Hours later I was tidying their room up and picked it up the pillow. My DH had thrown it on top of the humidifier. The humidifier was still on.

WTF.

My DH had put a pillow over the humidifier instead of moving it. I just can't get my head around this.

I can let the lazy dad thing go. Does it drive me mad and disgust me. Yes. But my kids haven't been in danger before. This week I interview for a new job. I will be on the road a great deal. My kids will be in his care.

What do I do? 

Baby days & Giving Thanks

The kids are growing up so fast! Mimi is talking up a storm and seems to be learning signs at lightening speed. We watch the video a few times and she just does it. She is walking and almost running. She is also entering the terrible two's stage. She sits on the floor, makes sure I am looking and lets out the most blood curdling screams.

Pip is a sweetie. He just cuddles and loves his mum!! He is walking with help and babbling away. He eats like a trouper.

Thanksgiving was a lovely day. It also happens to be my dads birthday so we skyped. We all got dressed up ready to walk the two blocks to the parade and then the kids fell fast asleep!  We did manage a little but a parade watching then back home to run around while DH got the meal together.

This sounds so normal to most people but to me, it was so wonderful. I didn't grow up with harmonious holidays. The normalcy of it all, the laughter, the hanging out and the good food was a dream come true.

Hope you all had a wonderful day. 

What the ... you bit me!

Today my sweet (yeah, well sometimes sweet) little boy turned into a friggin Tru.e Bloo.d character.  Without warning he bit me on the shoulder really hard. I yelled and put him down. It was really painful. You will be surprised to know my first thought was not 'how can I get him back' but what if he does this to Mimi?

A few hours later he does the same thing again, this time even harder. I screamed in shock and pain. He looked so surprised he burst into tears. He was on the changing table at the time and I signed 'owie!!!' Instead of being the nice loving mom of American TV I was the evil mum of English TV and put him in time out (which means putting him in the corner and turning my back on him for 30 seconds).

I mean c'mon kid - this is not cool. I read up on the almighty web and the consensus is not to clamp his gob shut but to tell him it hurts (you think screeching at the top of my lungs conveys that?) and to replace his need to chew on human flesh with something else - like a chewy toy. Sounding somewhat canine however web peoples swear by it.

Other than human flesh neither one really ate today. The shots must have kicked in from their 15 month evaluation. That and the weird cold they have. They are snotty, tired and cranky. It's been a very long day which I made more stressful by eating like a cretin. Fried chicken (which I don't even like) garlic bread (to test out the new toaster oven and try and get some garlic in the kids) half a bagel and the kids macncheese. Oh and a creme broule.Yes my friends -  a carb and sugar delight. I may have to double up on my run tomorrow if I am not in a diabetic comma.

Any help on the biting most welcome.

Sick baby advice.

Pip is sick. I think it's just a cold but for the first time ever he lost his appetite. It's freaking me out. He didn't even want his beloved macandcheese.  He is so snotty I pulled him off milk for today. Basically he's eaten croissant's and the baked goods! Thankfully he also sucked down a bunch of pouch foods.
He didn't sleep too well last night and neither did Mimi (probably a reaction to their 15 month check up shots) but I am praying they sleep through the night. I went to bed at 6am and slept till 10am!

In the early days when the crying went on and on I would lose my temper. Now, it kind of rolls off me. This is a very recent thing. Loving it! I put it down to the amount of exercise I'm doing these days.

Training for this 5K has been the best thing ever. I love the short training sessions. I love the sweat and tired muscles. I love this is the first of three training apps I am doing (C25K, C210K, C225K).

Any how, here is my question. What do you feed to your kids when they are sick? 

head above water

I have started working out quite hard (C25K) and it seems to be doing the trick. My anxiety is lifting which means I can stop banging on about poor me and show you more pictures. 

My ma send the kids some very English sweaters (called jumpers, I know, its confusing).  I'm probably biased but damn, these kids are soooo cute. 

Pip the penguin!!

deep breathing and lots of loving

The kids are amazing. They are both teething - and I mean really teething. 4am this morning, the little miss needed to be held and kissed and wrapped in her special blanket to stop the 'ouch' and even Pip is clingy which means we can't really go too far. So I've put futon mats on the floor, lay a soft duvet on top and we've been laying around reading, skyping with the UK and playing quietly.  They both love tummy tickles and head farts (I know, I know) and I really love cuddling.

However, I am depressed still. The exercise helps but I guess this is going to be a thing for a while no matter what I do. DH was surprisingly insightful yesterday, he said I was scared. Sounds straight forward but I hadn't thought of it! He's right. I am scared. I'm scared my career is over.  Today I didn't shower for the first time in years and alarm bells went off. However, I have been up most of the night so.... I guess I shall chalk this to babyhood and not the blues.

down and downs

I'm was having a rough time. Heavy heart and full of worry. I looked at my kids and think - are you mine? I looked at my husband and think - do you love me?  I could barely move or think without wanting to scream or sleep.  Oh I would say depression has entered the building.

So, I mustered every ounce of will power today and got to the gym. Day1 of my 5K training. It worked. I am much better.

I shall start the day with a workout tomorrow.

ups and downs

I was a little worried about my mental state yesterday. Very depressed. I'm totally knackered coz the kids are both teething now and therefore not sleeping which I think is the contributing factor. But still. Very unpleasant to feel that slipping down into nothingness.

Today is a bit better :-) I bought new trainers (sneakers) so I can start training for a 5K next month which cheered me up no end.

Still no job but I guess that is to be expected. Loving being with the kids more. Oh they are hilarious. Mimi is always asking 'Wass tha?" and Pip like to point to anything that is red and scream 'Rey"

My ma bought the kids about a thousand new items of clothing - all brand new and cool name brands like Boden, and M&S. I only buy second hand clothing (either off friends or ebay, bless you ebay) but now they are like real New Yorkers - all fancy and everything.

I am going to dress them up and go to see the big tree at Rockefeller Center. We shall go for winter picnics in the park, the zoo and the museums. There is defiantly an up side to being laid off!!

as i sit and write...

... Mimi is half singing, half screaming, half laughing and half crying ( maths is not my strong point) instead of being silently asleep (oh no, now she's singing the "e i e i oooooooo" from Old McDonald's...)

Normally I would bring her out with me, here in the living room and put her in the dog play pen. But. The clocks went back last night as you are all aware and the little fecker sweetie got up a 4am. I have insomnia so I got to sleep around 1am. 4 - 1 = knackered. 

I had forgotten this kind of tired. The early years tired. The tired to your bones and would pay anything for 2 hours sleep.  The four espresso shot that does NADA to help your energy levels. That permanent headache just behind your eyes. 

Being reminded of the exhaustion of that first year something struck me.  I'm amazed that there aren't comprehensive social services for new mothers. In a society that bangs on about family values and the sanctity of the family etc this country is dreadful at supporting the very people that actually build families.  In Denmark, both parents are fully supported for the first two years of the child's life. They get full pay for 12 months for BOTH parents and another year of top notch social support. Denmark scored highest in the index that measures overall satisfaction and happiness across the world (and a remarkable lack of loony politicians).

Huh, where did that soap box come from! 

Oh my, its quiet. I am going to bed. 

Hallowee .... again ?!

So, it turns out that in NYC there's this thing called a snow day Halloween parade. Oh yes, my friends, tomorrow we are going to another Halloween party, this time in our local playground, due to the last one getting cancelled for snow and whatnot.

Things have been hectic, what with job hunting, consulting, baby stuff, DH and medical stuff and AF. Ever since having the kids my monthly AF attack is fierce. I get full on psycho attack, pain, my back goes out,  I cannot wake up etc. However, the (TMI ALERT) flow is actually less which is cool.

Anyhow, with all that and more my Halloween mojo has somewhat worn thin. I just want to crawl into bed and stay there! If there is so much as a whiff of rain ... I can see it being an inside day!

I wonder if all this lethargy is all AF related? I do find the whole interviewing process draining. In my business you spend more time listening than talking! Ego ahoy. I bought lottery tickets so I could win the $245MM but I was sold faulty tickets again. Why does that keep happening.

Anyhoo,  I end my first week of unemployment much as I started it - repairing the damn costumes!