Drive by posting

Still insanely busy but I wanted to think out loud about something that just happened.

Last night I arrived back from my latest trip to San Francisco.  I was so excited to see the kids I was almost screaming at the plane to fly faster.  Pip and Mimi were engrossed in their Bab/y Einstei.n, sitting in their new chairs,  little feet tapping to the music. As is my usual MO I quickly sit in the rocker and DH picks up the kids and places them on me for a 'double cuddle' or 'maximum mum time'. Oh man, they had just had their bath and had that great baby smell.  I'm usually in seventh heaven at this point but for some reason I became overwhelmed with a profoundly sad sense. I hid my face and the tears fell.

What was that about??

It was such a freaky reaction.

Any ideas? Anyone else had that happen?

DH done good

I am not drunk.

I love my DH. Remember project 'grow the fuck up'? Well, mission accomplished. No really.. accomplished.

He has been working on being a dad and I am amazed at his transformation. He just spent the day looking after the kids and they were fed, bottled, bathed and in bed by 6.30pm. He plays with them and they squeal with laughter. They cry and he soothes them. He got me iced tea coz he knew I'd be hot and bothered by the time I got home. He did the washing, cleaned up the kitchen... well, you get the message.

I am so frikkin proud to stand by his side. I am so very proud. 

Well this should be interesting

I sent out the invites to friends and 'family' for the kids first birthday (holy crap, we have kids that are turning one!) ordered and got delivered the themed birthday crap that comes with having kids and even organised the UK contingent for a skype birthday inclusion.

Then I got my travel schedule for next month.

I am in San Francisco for well, basically most of it. Three trips to SF over the course of 3 weeks. One of the trips is for the whole week leading up to the kids birthday.

I'm so the women that asks the nanny to get her kids first birthday organised. Feel like Merryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada. Or Mommie Dearest.

Why do I feel so guilty? Its not like I'm at the spa for the week. Oh, this sucks.

What did you do for 1st birthdays and what advice can you offer, what should I look out for????

Motherhood changed me

How much I have changed!  I used to be a people pleaser now, some would call me a total bitch now!! On a call with a rude colleague I held my tongue for as long as I could and then told her to stop interrupting me. Doesn't sound like a big thing but I did not use dulcet tones.

I guess being totally freaked out about the responsibility of being a mother all else fades into insignificance ... work and the outside world,  just doesn't matter as much. I don't care what my work world thinks of me anymore.

I really like this new confidence!

What is your wish today? Mine is that I had a time stopper: press the button and everything stops so I could sleep - 12 long uninterrupted hours.

One stone

In the UK we weigh ourselves in stones (14 pounds). I have lost my first stone. Oh it feels good. I'm amazed that I've been able to do it. Every night this week I've been a mess. 16 hour days and too much pressure and kids and ahhhh. Boom. Splat.

Ah whatever, I've an easier week coming up.

Little man is trying to stand up and walk but it may take some time. He just seems to be a bit floppy. Little babe is blossoming into a toddler full speed, she's freakin' fearless. I may be biased but damn they are a whole lotta lovely kids. Mimi and I played ball yesterday - actual interaction.

It's all getting a bit scary - we have kids. You know, that need to learn stuff and do stuff and grow up. How is everyone else so calm about all this????

Dreamin' of beaches

I am totally wiped. I would like to say I have been so busy doing fun summer stuff but I'm afraid its all work. Out of control totally out of freakin' control. I am hoping it is all in a great cause.

We can't afford an actual vacation. Which totally SUCKS. But I thought I'd invite some dreaming. If you could go and do anything what would it be?

Me? I would go to an island with family and friends and sleep. A beachside cabana with everyone I love around me so I don't miss another moment with my kids or husband.

Your turn.

well look who turned up

AF has decided to make an appearance. I dug out my EPT's not long ago once I realized that I was waaaaaaay late on the old monthly. My friend told me how she secretly hopes for a surprise pregnancy each month coz she wants another little one. I do NOT. I know, sounds harsh but damn having twins is hard.

Until today everyone told me it gets easier. Now I am being told some things do. Others, not so much. Where the fuck did this come from!!!! Nearly a year of " oh the first year is the hardest, just grin and bear it' and now " oh when they get older, oh boy, the fighting!!!".


TGIF my friends, TGIF

Toot Toot

That's my horn - I am tooting and damn I'm proud.
Now, tooting my own horn will probably incur the wrath of some British secret tooting society (that in of itself could be a really good blog) however, I am mum here me  TOOT ... loudly!

"Why? What's the deal with the tooting" I hear the hoards of readers out there asking???

Today is the second day where I have been flying totally solo with both kids. They are in the "hey, I can crawl so point me in the direction of the nearest deadliest outlet and I'll be on my merry way thanks mom" which means when they play*   I'm dripping with sweat from all the lunging and lifting and placing and diving and ... well you get the gist. I used to work out nearly everyday before kids and these past two days have been way harder than any namby pamby weightlifting session.

Normally this type of 'free play' is done in a kids play gym which is huge and great fun for all us coz I know its safe and they know where all the cool toys are. However, the sadists at the play gym decided that they should close from Friday to Tuesday. Whaaaa!


So, today I accomplished the following with no help from no-one no way...

The kids got 3 real meals
4-ish bottles
Two walks and two parks
Two 'free play' sessions in 2 different locations in the apartment
Kids were bathed, twice (lasagna is NOT my friend)
Stratically  sleep deprived both kids (little afternoon nap) so they will pass out without too much WAAAAAAAA -ing.
I made a beef in ginger thing from scratch for diner tonight
Ran all the bottles through the dishwasher to give the a big clean
Ran all the cooking crap through the dishwasher and put most of it away
The kitchen, living room and kids bedroom are all clean and ... OK not tidy exactly but you know...
I'm putting the amazing garlic bread in at 7pm in time for the return of my DH from work so we can eat, watch the fireworks and pretend he didn't have to work on a national holiday again.
Coffee machine is self cleaning coz my coffee tasted like ASS this morning
and best of all...

if the kids do pass out soon I may even get a bubble bath.

The best independence day EVER.

Happy 4th to one and all.



 *(ref: torture mom: English language dictionary 1973)

Happy July 4th Terrible Two's

So, how is that my little girl that is pretty average on most milestones so far (and I have no problem with that let me assure you) is suddenly in the terrible 2's and she only 10 months old?????

She is screaming and yodeling when she doesn't get her way. HAS to be carried everywhere - my arms are looking like Arnies at the moment - and getting her to go to sleep is like a UN peace negotiation. It's exhausting!

My dear friend has invited us over for lunch today and she decided not to have kids. She's also in her 60's. She is also a real estate broker (ex writer) with what sounds like a wonderful apartment just primed for total freakin' destruction by my monsters. I am praying for a thunder storm so we cancel. Poor women. I should take alcohol. Lots of it.

Please, take pity and give me any assvice, ideas etc for helping control or minimize the damage with my screaming terror of a tot.