What is it about immediate family?!?!?
So, here's the background.
We saved, plotted and planned to take my clan + friends to some cottages in the UK and meet my parents and my brother and his son to enjoy a week of hiking, swimming and seaside and celebrate my dads 80s birthday.
Well, then dad went into hospital three weeks ago with a life threatening disease.
My mother became chair bound.
Dad came out of hospital but has had major surgery and can't travel.
Mum, chair bound.
OK, we can make this work, we will shuttle between the cottages and my folks home. Four hours of driving per day but OK that's really not too bad.
My brother called today.
He has to let the school know that my nephew will be out of school and he's not sure they will let him out of the school for the week AT THIS LATE NOTICE. And even if the school agrees, they aren't sure they want him out of school. This holiday has been planned for 3 feckin' years. THREE???? I hired extra large people carriers, the biggest cottage so we can accommodate my nephew.
We saved for two years to pay for it (yes, we could have put it on a credit card but I hate debt).
Oh why is it never easy?
You know what. I don't care. I am taking my clan to the seaside. To sleep in old cottages where you can not only hear the sea but you are next to a wonderful national park. My kids will be on holiday and they don't notice or care about shenanigans and neither will I. It will be cold and probably rainy and that is what an English summer holiday is all about.
Dammit.
So, here's the background.
We saved, plotted and planned to take my clan + friends to some cottages in the UK and meet my parents and my brother and his son to enjoy a week of hiking, swimming and seaside and celebrate my dads 80s birthday.
Well, then dad went into hospital three weeks ago with a life threatening disease.
My mother became chair bound.
Dad came out of hospital but has had major surgery and can't travel.
Mum, chair bound.
OK, we can make this work, we will shuttle between the cottages and my folks home. Four hours of driving per day but OK that's really not too bad.
My brother called today.
He has to let the school know that my nephew will be out of school and he's not sure they will let him out of the school for the week AT THIS LATE NOTICE. And even if the school agrees, they aren't sure they want him out of school. This holiday has been planned for 3 feckin' years. THREE???? I hired extra large people carriers, the biggest cottage so we can accommodate my nephew.
We saved for two years to pay for it (yes, we could have put it on a credit card but I hate debt).
Oh why is it never easy?
You know what. I don't care. I am taking my clan to the seaside. To sleep in old cottages where you can not only hear the sea but you are next to a wonderful national park. My kids will be on holiday and they don't notice or care about shenanigans and neither will I. It will be cold and probably rainy and that is what an English summer holiday is all about.
Dammit.
Your parents stuff can't be avoided although can you work it out so you don't have to drive to/fro every day? 4 hours a day is a LOT over any period of time.
ReplyDeleteAs for your brother, and I know so much about familial relationships is about not rocking the boat, letting sleeping dogs lie, etc., but can't you at least inquire as to whether your brother didn't value this time to get together as much as you? I see no reason to suck it up without at least understanding his (even if it is selfish or forgetful) thought process.
Perhaps he didn't understand the effort you put in to make this happen? Sharing hurt feelings is productive in close relationships.
Wow! That sucks big time! I'm curious where this is - being a bit of a seaside buff myself! I agree with PP on everything. Also, are you going to be in England just for that week or do you have extra time you could devote to your parents without the long drive every day from the cottage. Yes, your brother owes you an explanation! That's nuts! I'm sorry you are dealing with this, but if all else fails, enjoy being with your own fam and having a great British summer holiday!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry...I don't know what it is about immediate family. More than anything, it seems, your brother's actions made you feel like he was disrespecting you and your parents (who could really use their family around them right now). And what's the deal with the school "won't" let the boy out of school during the summer for a week? Strange to me. Yes, go, smile, have a wonderful time with your kids and this very important time with your parents.
ReplyDelete